Irrational Emotions

I'm so blessed, yet here I am with all kinds of irrational emotions running amok.  I'm worrying about the sickness that is just finishing up here at our place, will Avery catch something again right away... and how Avery has been snotty since she got her first cold at Thanksgiving, is there something bigger wrong?  Which then gets me thinking about when she was born and wasn't breathing well but instead grunting.  This makes me want to cry because how easily she could have had even more serious issues or not gotten well - and there I was so wiped and mentally out of it that I didn't even process it as fear and horror, which was good for my state at the time, but you better believe I feel guilty for not being worried at a level that was reasonable for her state.

My brain has periodically considered how horrible it would be to be in a car accident with her onboard since she arrived.  I'm sure that fear is normal, but where are they springing up from?  I can't help but then also think about the friend's sister who lost her wee one before six months.  How quickly and unexpectedly things could change.

I guess I've cast these fears out in the past with prayer and I need to get back on that train of thought - specifically, "she is in Your hands", but I also need to pray for strength for the next 18+ years.  Whew.

Ups and Downs

Avery did well all weekend after we got through Friday with the exception of last night, which I'll blame on an overfeed.  Her poops however still smell like she has expelled a demon.  Needless to say, this is on the "to discuss" list for her next pediatrician appointment, as from what I've read they shouldn't be that bad.

We sat out on the get togethers on Saturday, but did power on for Sunday (Christmas Eve) and his parents came here on Christmas day, so we still had lots of visiting.  We also had a crazy amount of gift opening!  I've said it before and I'll say it again, what on earth am I supposed to do with all of this stuff for this little girl?  We even have a lot of books.  I need to get those sorted again (the more mature ones are stored downstairs for now and the others are upstairs), but I need to also get them more handy so we can start reading to her more regularly.

I need a better routine with her (including the reading time).  There are too many days when I realize (after she's fallen asleep) that I didn't wash her face (and I'm not going to put a wet wash cloth on a sleeping baby).  I guess it's hard to label something routine as there are so many variables.  Today we woke and were ready super early - but on another day that same set of tasks can have me running late.

I also want to post about watching her swinging a candy cane around.  It was the most adorable thing.  I snagged some video and photos, but it isn't quite the same as being there.  She just immediately started swinging it back and forth like she was getting a workout.

Rest and recouperation

It is true.  Daycare called just after noon as Avery had thrown up two more times.  I brought her home and we've been trying to get her rested up with smaller feedings.  There was one more throw up after I went to bed last night.  Today she seems a lot more like herself, but I'm still taking it easy with the food.

As a result, her Daddy headed off by himself today to two of the holiday get togethers.  We will stay here and continue our rest and sip strategy. Of course, I started a slightly sore throat and headache last night - so I'm hoping I won't be out of tomorrow's get together as well.

Merry Sickmas

Poor Avery is still so stuffy and mucusy that she's killing my ability to sleep.  I understand fully why when I was older my Mom would come in in the middle of the night yelling at me to "blow my d*mn nose".

I do fear she is sick again (the first cold struck leading into Thanksgiving weekend and here we are again right before Christmas).  Of course, we never cleared up from Thanksgiving.  Last night she wasn't eating with vigor, nor this morning.  This morning she got 2 ounces in when I decided to give up as we were already running late, and then she threw it up requiring a clothing change and all.

Captain, she's breaking up!

We've shifted to size 1 diapers.  We tried to use up all of the newborns, but had a couple left before they were simply too tight. Unfortunately, size 1 seems to be fraught with epic blow outs.  Why isn't there a size in between?  I've got several pairs of pants upstairs waiting to be washed that came home from daycare and a onesie from last night that took a beating.  Ugh.

The other struggle we're having right now is with mucus and snot.  She isn't sick, but she never shook the snot/boogers and congestion from her first cold.  I guess it's a blessing in one way, as mucus can prevent a cold from getting in there, but right now it also seems to be preventing air around 4am.  Poor girl, and she sure doesn't like the snot sucker or the bulb syringe.

On the development front, she is more able/content to lift her upper body when down for tummy time.  She also holds a good bit of her own weight if you hold her loosely in a standing position.  She is enjoying time on her play mat grabbing at the plastic toys, but she hasn't started grabbing for hand held rattles and whatnot just yet.

Ready for Santa

This weekend we had appointments at South Hills Village.  First stop was Santa Claus.  We had a reservation so we could walk straight up, avoiding the line.  Avery didn't take long to tell (and show) him what a good girl she is.  She grabbed ahold of his finger and smiled gleefully for her photo.  I'm glad I got a little snippet of video as he kissed that little hand holding his.

Then we went for a regular photo session.  More insanely cute photos were had.  She remained a happy girl long enough for us to get them before she let us know she was ready to nap.  Great family pics too.  There's something so radiant about her, that Avery makes me look gorgeous too.

Starting Christmas Memories Now

We purchased the artificial Christmas tree that Avery will grow up with!  I guess in my head I someday see her looking at the tree, rolling her eyes, and asking if we can get a real one or a new one.  Then someday years later wanting to have the tree because it's the one she knew all those years.  Maybe I'm too nostalgic and sentimental.  I also have a tree skirt and new personalized stockings on the way.

I'm really hoping the stockings get here this week.  We have her Christmas photos on Saturday, I'd love (if she fits) to put her in her stocking for one of them.  Once I get those done it'll be rush rush rush to print photos and stuff them in family Christmas cards so those can go out.

A few other things of note:  we are now making more tones when we coo.  She also has a much more robust and angry cry she deploys at points.  Wheew.  Yesterday was rough until she crashed out for an afternoon nap.  On Saturday, as we sat on the bed for a little while I turned on Alton Brown.  She immediately craned her head to try and look at the TV.  When I turned her body so she could see the TV she stared intently with a big smile on her face.  I think we might have a foodie on our hands.  At least she has good taste!  She also watches us a little differently than she did when we are eating in front of her.  I think she'll be wanting what we have pretty fast.

She must not like that outfit

Avery has not, to this point, been much for spitting up after she eats.  This has been a wonderful blessing.  This morning just didn't go my way.  I was up 15 minutes earlier than normal - high on the fact that she slept the whole way through the night!  I took my time feeding her and then burped her.  Mid-burp she pooped.  Since she didn't go yesterday at daycare she was overdue, but it's rare to get one in the morning.  Fine, open the outfit back up and change the diaper.

Time to leave so I put her down in the car seat and she spits up a little on herself.  Ok, back upstairs and change the outfit.  I put her into the cute onesie with the silver heart on it - the outfit she was in right before Thanksgiving and puked up good at daycare first thing in the morning.  Back down stairs and further into the car seat and she spits up once again - this time getting the strap and snap/buckle.  I guess she doesn't like the onesie with the silver heart?  Back upstairs and it was time to employ some help to get both her changed and the car seat cleaned up because at this point I'm now running behind.  So, sorry Daddy, but you gotta get out of bed.

I admit I wanted to have a toddler tantrum.  No fair!  On a serious note, I do hope this isn't a new trend or shift in typical.  I was so happy she wasn't a spit up kind of girl.  Maybe I didn't get enough out when I burped her.

Three month weigh in

Avery is officially three months old.  She is also officially over her birth weight, finally.  We knew she was, and we were weighing her here at home, but I am still surprised to report she is over 10 lbs by 4 ounces (as of Monday)!  She got a few more shots, but didn't see the doctor, so they weren't even going to weigh her had I not requested it.

From there I took her to a le Leche League meeting and she wiped out before we left.  She was out pretty early at home and hard too - she even slept until 3am when I woke her to eat without her swaddle sack.

She remains a bit snotty, but her usual happy self.  Nothing else really to say other than I'm eager to go get her and get my share of daily cuddles.

Meeting family

With Thanksgiving comes visiting, so Avery was able to meet even more of her Daddy's family this weekend.  She was passed around nearly non-stop and she loved it.  There was just one minor grump period which necessitated a 15 minute nap and then she was back to making her rounds.  As I've said before I know I'm biased, but everyone agrees she is the sweetest, cutest, little bugger around.

You are now a number

I made my run to the SSA office today and confirmed that they did submit Avery's information and she was issued a SSN.  They weren't able to GIVE me that number for privacy reasons. *pause - sigh* But they requested a card be issued.  I guess we need to wait until she's old enough to open the envelope when it comes in the mail?  At least that's checked off of my to do list.

Last night she and I both crashed out pretty early.  I was needing it after staying up to watch the Walking Dead on Sunday night.  Since her Dad won't be here this evening I'm also glad I rested when I could.

Please hold... your call is important to us.

While I continue to work I have been sitting on hold a bit this morning.  First a call to Vital Records to make sure they received and processed the correction from the Acknowledgement of Paternity paperwork.  Then messing around to order a new birth certificate.  $30... because THEY screwed up and sent our original AOP back instead of processing it.  That pleased me.  Best part - it could take up to 14 weeks to get it.

Now I'm hold once again waiting for the Social Security Office.  I hope they pick up before I need to be on another call for work or my hour long wait will be for naught.  If they still can't help me now that I have _a_ copy of her birth certificate w/ a record number on it I'll be very displeased, especially since I'll be at a total of 2 hours on hold for this matter.  Why why why didn't they do their job and process her SSN?

Update:  They answered just in time... but of course, cannot help me, because - get this - I don't have her social security number.  I have to go into the office with her birth certificate AND a shot record (uhhh).

Cry me a river

Today's first - tears, streaming from her eyes.  Poor baby!

On the mend

Avery is still a little plugged/snotty and coughing periodically, but seems to feel a bit better.  She's been getting some extra sleep to help ensure it, including lounging in bed with me all morning today.  i'm grateful for the cuddles.  Today's other occurrences included taking her to her first auction - a food one, I've missed those, lots of great deals to be had; big poos that are getting thicker like pudding (same color too); and a post bath weight of 8lbs 6.4 oz.

Our first cold

It was bound to happen sooner or later.  Avery is sick with her first cold. She's stuffy and coughing a little. No fever, thank God.  She's not thrilled but is still remarkably pleasant.  Being stuffy I'm surprised by how well she is still eating... which is good, I'm hoping I'm making antibodies for whatever she has that are getting passed along.

Amusingly this morning I got a full 2 ounces off of one breast while I was pumping after the 7am feed. I wasn't paying attention as I was filling out Christmas card envelopes and looked down to find that pleasant surprise.  I'm trying to find the time to pump but it's hard with her here, especially when she's sick.

Some decisions are made for you

No matter how hard you may resist, some decisions are made for you.  For me, this is when to stop breastfeeding.  The major drop in what I was able to pump when Avery started going to daycare was immediate.  It's only been a week but it's becoming very clear that the end is near.  Today I noticed that the tips of my nipples have hickeys on them from the pump and I'm lucky to get a full ounce in twenty minutes and two cycles on the pump.

Amusingly they don't hurt - and that's a bad sign.  The lack of them being delicate is probably because things are drying up.  The nail in the hormonal coffin was seeing how much hair came out when I washed my hair tonight.  I'm going to keep trying to put her on, but I am starting the hunt for the best deals on formula and we'll see if liquid or powder seems more the way to go.

Just be happy I made it nearly 11 weeks, right?  I just can't help but be very disappointed.  There is also the fact that I'm not good with change and this forces me to relearn new patterns.  Feeding isn't just a walk down the hall in the middle of the night it's now going to be going downstairs to ready the bottle, come back up and take care of her, then clean up the bottle.  Then there is the huge added expense!  Oh don't get me started on that... and the higher likelihood it will stain clothes and the fact that she'll poop more (she had a blowout today at daycare and another huge dump after she came home.

The Road to Jingletown

Today Avery made her first trip to Johnstown to meet some friends.  She now has even more adoring fans.  We were able to catch up with the Laws, the Rohannas, Jon and Heather, and Beth.  I didn't get to feed her directly or pump as much today as I would have liked, but it is what it is.  I don't quite have the four bottles full to send to daycare with her tomorrow, so I guess I'll deplete some of the frozen "supply" (not that there is much there) tomorrow.

Who's your daddy?

Well, her birth certificate arrived yesterday, with no father listed.  *sigh*  We did the paperwork in the hospital, which they returned to us because he dated it the day before she was born.  It took a while to have someone here to sign as a witness, but we got the papers back in a couple of weeks ago (again).  That office says to wait 4 weeks for acknowledgement of paternity paperwork to process at which time we can call to get the birth certificate corrected.  Whee.

Now the social security administration needs the birth certificate in order to help me out with the fact that we have not yet gotten her social security number in the mail.  This too was completed in the hospital.  Why is this such a mess?

It's still creepy here trying to work while Avery is off at daycare.  I feel like I'm half naked most of the day trying to pump.  I also had a drop in what I'm getting, so now I'm really worried about how long I can sustain sending pumped milk for her.  She was 10 weeks yesterday and with our limited scale measurements here, we're still not to 8lbs.  So maybe it's for the best if I just make the shift?

To end on a good note, I finally added Avery to a planned cruise in the spring, so she is scheduled for her first sailing!  I'm sure that will be an interesting adventure.  I'm not sure if it will be more of a pain in the butt if I'm still breastfeeding or if we need to lug a bunch of formula.  I guess I never planned on breastfeeding _that_ long anyhow, but the thoughts go through my head.

Dropping her off at daycare

I'd like to say I'm one of those people who didn't cry, but who am I kidding?  I used to cry when I left the dogs at the kennel.  Of course I cried dropping Avery off at daycare.  I was crying last night as I prepared to do so this morning.

It just stinks knowing someone else will see her for more of her waking hours than I will each day.  They will get the smiles she offers up, they will be the one that she gets comfort from when crying -- she's going to bond with some stranger.

Paid maternity leave needs to be a whole heck of a lot longer.  Better still, can I be independently wealthy?

Now starts a whole other chapter, where instead of picking her up to feed her quickly while I keep working I am pumping, pouring it off into bottles, cleaning up after said pumping and praying that I get enough to send in each day.

Visit from Meme

At long last Meme visited with us in my dream.  It was an odd one, but she did get to hold Avery in the dream, that's all that matters and all I am choosing to take from that dream - like I said it was odd, but aren't most dreams?

Two Months

Today marks my sweet girl's two month birthday!  No gifts other than two shots at the pediatrician (which out of the like 5 or 6 they normally do at the two month mark that isn't too bad).  Once again she only gained a little bit of weight (we are up to 7lbs 14oz) but she was in a different patient room and thus on a different scale, and only 1/4" taller (21 1/4").  She is in the 10th percentile on height, 5th in weight, and 15th for head.

Since our chiro appointment last week the poops have been more regular.  I can also say that the initial latch pain has been reduced tremendously.  On the pumping front I once again this morning got a bit more on the one side than I had been - I do think the supplements are helping in some ways, just not as much as I had wished and hoped, but I'll take what I can get.

A whole lotta milka

This morning's pumping session got nearly 2 oz from one breast.  I'm so excited, I think the fenugreek may be working!  When I fed her right prior on the other breast she even choked a little early in the feeding.  While I hate to have that happen to her, but perhaps it was due to more milk in the early let down on that side as well.

By the way if you don't get my title reference you weren't a Kids in the Hall fan.

Lighting up like a light bulb

It almost feels like you can see Avery progressing by leaps and bounds.  Last night on the playmat she was very attentive, especially to the noises of the rattle.  After I took her hand to push the rattle a couple of times she was able to connect a few times on her own.  She woke today so very alert and full of smiles that I didn't need to coax from her.  Then, when I put her in the swing she looked up expectantly waiting for the mobile to start going.

I know everyone thinks their kid is superior, but I know there is a bright light in this bulb!

I foolishly climbed on my scale with and without her last night.  Sure, it only measures to the half a lb, but that's enough to see that we're still not forcing the scale past the 8 lb mark.  It frustrates me so much and fills me with sadness.  I've been taking fenugreek pills for a few days now in an effort to up my production and I'm not seeing a change, at least not yet.

Back to work

Today was my first day back at my desk.  I'm only working part-time for the next two weeks or so and Avery is staying here with me... but it still stinks.  She was a champ today.  She slept in the snug-a-puppy for a while, ate, chilled out longer, fussed briefly, and was then happy in the bjorn for the rest of the time.  She typically is easy-breezy in the mornings.  Shame once she has to go to daycare I won't get to see any of those pleasant hours.

I finally got a decent pic of the smile.  We also had some legit coos while in the snug-a-puppy too!

Feeding despair

I've been feeding the girl every 2 1/2 hours during the day in an effort to get more in her and more weight on her.  It doesn't leave a lot of time for pumping, even less when she decides she's hungry again before that window is closed.  That was the case tonight.  I had pumped and shortly thereafter the screaming started.  I figured my freshly pumped breasts weren't going to cut it, so I pulled out the supplement formula.  This is the stuff they gave us at the hospital that she was drinking there w/ breastmilk.

Give her the formula if you need to they say.  Give yourself a break they say.  Plus, when I start back to work I know we might need to transition to formula if I can't get my pump to draw more.  So I gave in.  She drank, I tried to burp her, she sat with me for a while and then she dozed off.  To give myself a break I put her down and she stayed peaceful.  More than an hour later I picked her up out of the pack n play because her next feeding time was coming and she needed changed.  Shortly after I picked her up the vomit came.  I know they say it isn't as much as it looks like but it soaked both her onesie and my shirt and I'd put money down it was at least half of the 2 oz bottle (like an hour and a half after she ate it).  She's had a bottle here and there in the past few weeks, so it isn't because she's never had it.

I hate not knowing what to do.  Formula is my backup, but I feel like it isn't a safe backup.  It is insult to injury when you are realizing you aren't able to provide enough to feed your child (as demonstrated by her not gaining super fast and underscored by the small amount I am able to pump when I'm faced with needing to pump enough to send with her to day care very soon).  What's the point if she's going to yack it up?  This is not a girl that vomits, she VERY rarely has given even that little bit of spit up w/ a burp.  Even if that is "normal" who wants to need to clean up vomit?

Seeking a comfortable carry

With girl wanting to be held when she is awake my arms are getting a workout.  I am also not able to continue about tasks.  I had purchased a bjorn, but the minimum weight is 8lbs, which we're still not up to.  Regardless I put it on today and placed her in to get a feel for it.  Even when she's trying to wiggle about I think I'll still be able to do what I need to do, like type this post!  I also purchased a ring sling, which should arrive today.  Either way, I am hoping it will allow her to cuddle with me while I continue to function.  This is critical for me to go back part time at the end of next week and keep her home a little longer.  I think this is also going to be good for my arms and back.

Optical illusion?

Maybe I'm imagining things since she's been wearing long sleeves (which happen to be a little baggy since she needs the length but not the circumference of the outfit) the past few days - but Avery looks like she grew over night.  Her arms just seem longer to me.  Skinny as all get out, but longer.

Six weeks down

Well, almost six weeks anyhow.  I had my six-week appointment at the ob/gyn yesterday and all is well.  After Avery and I stopped at the pediatrician's office to use their scale.  The good news is Avery is up to 7# 12.5oz.  That isn't crazy progress, but it's progress in the right direction none the less (so up 2.5 oz in the past week and 5 days).

I'm getting more smiles but still narrowly missing capturing them on film or video.  We're also starting to create a good, healthy pattern at night which has been resulting in good sleep!  Of course, I recognize that now that I typed that everything will go out the window.

Caved in

We have had our days when Avery seemed to constantly cry and would gladly eat more frequently than prescribed.  We  have had our days when there were plenty of wet diapers but very little poo.  This day is both.  This combined with the limited amount of milk I seem to be retrieving when I pump led (combined with his suggestion) to me offering her supplement formula.  Two ounces later she is still fussing on and off, but is a bit calmer and seeming willing to nap.

I'm very concerned about my ability to gather enough pumped milk to send to daycare.  Like I said - across two pumping sessions today I'd be lucky to have gathered a fourth of what she might need while away from me all day.  I know pumps aren't as effective at getting milk out as she is and I know that if I weren't feeding her too there would be more... but this just doesn't bode well.

I don't want to fail at this.  Feeling a little bummed.  I feel like I cheated.  Plus formula feeding reduces her time pulling at me to produce more.  Maybe I'm dehydrated and need to drink more to produce more.  Her diapers don't seem to be changing as far as how closely the tape attaches (as would indicate weight gain).  So many questions ad so much uncertainty.  I definitely need to go to the ped office this week (between scheduled appointments) to weight her.

A few firsts

On Sunday, the 24th we celebrated Avery's one month birthday.  Round about that time she also showed us that she knows how to roll over from her stomach to her back when set down for tummy time and she isn't into it.  On Wednesday, the 27th I got a real smile out of the girl first thing in the morning when I leaned in to pick her up.  On Friday, the 29th we drove to Altoona and she got to meet most all of her great Aunts (on both sides of my family) and two great Uncles!

On the sleep front, I got a new mattress.  I'm glad I didn't do so while still pregnant as I would have never been able to roll out of the bed as I am struggling to get out now.  We've been doing pretty good overnight and getting a little more sleep.  Avery is willing to sleep for longer stretches, which is torture for me since I love my sleep - but I know I need to wake her to feed in order to get some weight on her and to maintain my supply.

Slow and steady

Our Thursday appointment at the pediatrician turned into Avery's one month appointment.  As such she got measured - showing she's now 21" long and her first vaccine (Hep B).  She did gain a little bit more weight and is back to 7# 9oz (where she was when she left the hospital).  This is indeed slow going.  But the doctor is still okay with everything. This puts her at the 10th percentile for weight and 15th percentile for height.

We had a few rough days leading up to this appointment.  On Tuesday she was fussy every time she was put down on her own and insisted upon being held.  Fortunately, she snapped out of that for bedtime and allowed us some rest.  Then on Wednesday night she decided to be a bear in the evening - staying awake well past 3am.

Overnight last night she was unable to get anything from my left breast on her own.  When I pumped this morning I was able to get a half of an ounce out of it.  Of course, I also got another half an ounce out of the right which had just fed her.  So I am a little more concerned about production levels than I was even before.  Right now I am going to go ahead and guzzle some fluids to see if I am just not drinking as much as I should be.

Some upward progress

At the Thursday appointment we were up... slightly... to 7# 7.5oz.  Granted she hadn't had a single poop that day to that point, so I suspect that helped us out, but at least we didn't lose more weight.  I am continuing to feed her around the 3 hour mark and trying hard to get through any of the initial pain of latching on by trying to get her situated better for feedings.  We're also sitting still for 20 minutes or so with the hopes that the hind milk will help out.  We return to the pediatrician again this coming Thursday.

In the mean time, we were getting a little more of a routine/predictability down, so I was brave enough that we ventured out to see some of his family on Friday night (an hour away).  It went well and she got to meet some folks.

I won't talk about sleep other than to say I'm rather tired right now.  I do yearn for when the feedings are spaced a little further apart as right now by the time I'm ready to put my head down we're within an hour of the next feeding and that short of a nap just leaves me grumpy.

Yearning to Gain

We were back at the pediatrician today, and unfortunately - she has lost even more weight.  We're now down to 7# 6.5oz.  *sigh*  Of course, I immediately started crying.  I need her to put on weight.  We're going back again on Thursday.  I suspect if the next 48 hours aren't productive we'll be headed down a path of supplements (which is another healthy expense).  I'm pumping and feeding often - she'll guzzle the pumped milk, but sits lazily more often than not when she's on the breast.  Of course, pumping I'm not getting a huge amount either, so that sits poorly with me.

Two weeks and counting

It blows my mind that two weeks have already passed since Avery joined us.  The time has gone so quickly, but the nights seem to crawl as she is unhappy and hungry for hours on end each night.  We've been able to feed, offer what I pumped earlier in the day, and feed again - then with some cuddling to get her out I am able to get some sleep, but I'm still feeling deprived.  It's hard to get through that cycle at 2am.

If only you could sleep while they slept on you.  She goes out nicely laying on top of me.  But we all know that is not a safe situation.  Sometimes I get lucky and after she falls asleep like that will stay asleep after the shift to her bed.  I do wonder/think that perhaps the coldness of her bed is what wakes her back up.  Time to take a heating pad to her mattress until I'm ready to set her down.

At Avery's appointment on Tuesday she was only up an ounce (7lb 10oz).  So here I am looking for ways to increase my output. My left breast doesn't seem to be as productive as the right, so I am also starting her nursing on the left more often, which displeases her too if it doesn't let down as quickly or as much.  I'm also sitting here with a cup of oatmeal, which supposedly will increase supply.
Her Aunt Jackie will be coming to stay with us tomorrow, so I'll have another set of hands to hold the baby - I'm hoping this will give me a little more sleep time, but I also know all too well that it can be hard to sleep and relax with company here.

We ended up scheduling an appointment with the Picture People for her photos since I heard back from only one of the other photographers and it was a dismissive response.  I hope we can get some good shots. I need to take some time to put the outfits on her tonight that I want to take with.  I do fear some will be too big and make her look like she's swimming.  I picked up a few other items from consignment to keep her covered in an appropriate size, but nothing there that is so adorable as to warrant photos.

Leaving the hospital and finishing her first week

While I was discharged on Saturday, Avery had to stick around another night.  The hospital was amazing and allowed us to room in with her.  Since they weren't super busy we didn't even have to switch rooms, which meant we kept the large labor and delivery room for our entire stay.  I admit I wasn't as scared when the time came to pack up as I expected to be - but I did have butterflies.

We arrived here mid-afternoon and started trying to settle in a bit.  We've set up camp downstairs using the pack n play as her night time crib.  This way we both can see her directly from the couches where we've been sleeping.  I know we need to transition upstairs at some point soon, but we're working to get better at feeding for now.  The girls didn't really get bigger, I don't think.

She is the calmest baby, at least during the day, but at night it seems like another child emerges - one that had me wondering if sleep was a thing of the past.  Sure they say sleep when they do, but the sleep periods were so short that once I fed her, changed her, got her to wipe back out, pumped, cleaned up the supplies, I was lucky to get an hour before I had to start it all over again.

As things have moved forward I'm needing to pump less thanks to starting to get the hang of feeding, but I'm still keeping some in the fridge as backup.  I couldn't even be to this point if I hadn't taken my 4 day old baby out to the Le Leche League meeting.  I was to tears frustrated trying to get her on properly and feeling so desperate... so I went.  I left on Monday feeling like 50 lbs had been lifted from my shoulders and that there was hope.

It was no small feat as Monday was a big day.  We had her first pediatrician appointment, from there we went and picked up the dogs.  It worked out well that I then went to the Le Leche meeting as he was able to get the dogs settled back in at the house for a while before we returned.  So how are the dogs doing with her?  Well, they were a bit crazy at first.  I have to say Saf, my baby, did better than I would have guessed, and Dani ended up being weirder than I expected.  They are very interested in the baby, but doing well.  They're also sleeping with us downstairs (other than that first night) so they too are looking a little sleepy.

He returned to work on Wednesday but I was only truly alone here with her on Thursday as his parents were in since his father is doing some work here on retaining walls.  Of course with people here I didn't have a shot at sleeping when she did, so I really just started making attempts at that pattern.  I should be sleeping right now as he is out running for us and she is down, but there is so much to try and do that I often cheat myself.  I guess once I'm beyond exhausted sleep will win.

Weight has started falling off and I AM eating.  I'm sure I'll hit the wall on that too (very soon).  My belly button is starting to return to pulling back in (yay).  I also lucked out in the period department.  They kept telling me I'd likely have a very heavy period for up to 6 weeks, but it's been pretty light and dealable.

When Thursday at 3am hit we were just falling asleep.  I can't believe it's already been over a week already.

The big show

Spoiler alert:  I am back dating this post to the date and time all of this started to happen.  You can probably guess how it ended.

So the doctor had arrived by the time we got to pushing.  I remember that they wanted me to try to push before I was fully dilated.  At that point, they suggested some pitocin to finish my cervix out that last half centimeter or whatever.  I had a hep lock in as my intention was to go no drugs (you'll note I have NOT mentioned pain medication to this point.  I'm going to bring it up again because I'm hella proud) - so it was pretty easy to get that on.  After the pitocin did it's job it was show time.

I'm told I pushed for about an hour and a half.  Fact is, I don't understand how ANYONE with pain medication or feeling blocking medication could ever possibly push a child out.  You have to be so aware of what you feel working, and even when you can feel it working it is very hard to get right back into that same feeling with the next round.  It also helped to have the doctor placing fingers to give me an area to focus on.  At some point they put oxygen on me and it gave me a moment of clarity in the midst of the mental avoidance of the pain where it hit me and I remember asking if they were worried about the baby.

That last little bit did indeed hurt like crazy.  But then she was here, in this world.  They placed her on me for a rather short period of time as she was grunting rather than crying and they wanted me to get a moment but they also wanted to take care of her.  It seems like while she didn't poo before my water broke, she did somewhere between when it did and when she arrived so they had some concern there, although that wasn't necessarily the breathing thing.

It wasn't long at all before my placenta was out... I'll do the follow up comments here as it seems relevant:  they later assessed the placenta and saw no cause for my bleeding in the week leading up (as in it was not deteriorating or starting to separate from my uterus, so it wasn't causing her to not get enough oxygen and create any other issues there).

After a little while with Daddy watching over her on the sidelines they took her away to the level 2 nursery.  Return reports said that blood worked showed some of the white blood cells were elevated, so they started an IV, at which means she needed to stay in the level 2 nursery until that was removed.  It also means she was receiving fluids, so she wouldn't be getting early early milk - a big disappointment to me.  She remained there with both the IV and oxygen for the first twenty four hours.  As the blood levels started to normalize we started bringing her pumped colostrum they were able to slowly bring the level of IV fluids down.

Once we were to a safe level she was returned to our room at 2am - 23 hours after her birth.  They then were testing blood sugars, which seemed to be too low and lower each time a test was taken after each meal.  So we had another slight worry on our minds.  If it had gone any lower she would have needed to head back to the level 2 nursery.  Fortunately, a secondary type of test showed things were okay and suddenly the in room test was starting to give better readings (thank the Lord).

All of this did still mean that she was not going to get released with me the next day (Saturday).  Fortunately, the hospital gets it - and they allowed us to stay another night after I was discharged to room in with her.  We also got lucky and the L&D department didn't get over run so we got to stay in the larger room the whole time.  It was nice to have meals coming from the cafeteria and attentive care and guidance from the whole staff (nurses, peds, lactation consultant, and even the clean up and meal delivery folks) - truly, I appreciate what they did for us.

Other things that surprised me:
- You spend hours with a conscious exhale going on to breathe away the pain.  Then you get to pushing and their expectations of you to hold your breath for 10 seconds x 3 feels like an absolute eternity.
- This shouldn't really surprise me, but - Good golly, having an oxygen mask, doing all of that breathing with your mouth open, and allowing a few screams (oh yes I did) out sure dries out your throat.  I ended up asking them for losenges.
- Again, no pain drugs.  I did it!  This is the one thing I wanted so much as I do feel that one intervention leads to another.  I had my doubts (and voiced them) even before we left the house with the doula.
- After the head came it felt like a limb, another limb, another limb, another limb... also came.  Did I just give birth to an octopus?

To make the formal announcement:
Avery Violet joined us on Thursday, August 24 at 3:05am.  She was 7 lbs, 15 1/2 oz, and 19".  My good girl listened and waited to not be a Leo!

Leading up to the big show

Spoiler alert:  I am back dating this post to the date and time all of this started to happen.  You can probably guess how it ended.

Around 2am the pain began.  I couldn't get comfortable on either side as the cramps started.  I kind of knew it my heart it was the start of labor - like I said in a previous post, I was looking for signs - but I had no clue how much so.  While I couldn't sleep I sent a few messages on to my guy that made it sound like I felt something was definitely going on.

By 4am I turned to my back and managed to get comfortable and fell asleep.  I was up with my alarm and at my work desk.  All morning I could feel things going on but I was waiting it out to get confirmation at my noon doctor's appointment.  My guy went into work briefly and then came this way to join me at the doctor's appointment (at his suggestion).  I kind of thought I'd get to the doctor and she'd say congrats you're now 2cm.  Imagine my surprise to learn I was at 4cm!  She asked if I wanted to head to L&D as she was willing to send me and she thought for sure we'd see her on that day.  This was definitely happening!  We opted to go home and labor there as long as possible - and to get the girls to camp.

We were to have a meeting at my place w/ the doula this evening, so I guess she was coming either way.  Later in the afternoon things were getting rather unpleasant and by the time she arrived I was already waffling if we should just meet her at the hospital or what.  I'm not sure how long the doula was here, but for a little while before we headed out - and the rest of the times get muddled in my head - but we got to the hospital just as the sun was setting (which I googled was at 8:09).

Upon arrival I was 7cm.  I gotta admit there are lots of bits and pieces missing.  I remember getting out of the car and into the wheelchair and the ride to triage.  I don't recall getting my clothes off in triage or moving to the room just down the hall where I labored.  There are plenty of pieces of the labor - mostly waves of pain that I do recall.  I think I spent most of it - or at least until Dr P got there with my eyes closed just trying to get through.

I remember the nurse coming in to check me again so the doctor could decide if she needed to get in there.  I do remember my guy commenting that it was 11pm. Not sure when Doc arrived.  But I know we didn't start pushing until what is technically 8/24.

TMI Warning: Looking for signs

TMI warning:  I expected to spot after being checked last Wednesday.  There was a little but not as much as I thought.  It has however continued being a pink tinge on any mucus that is wiped.  Is that still from the cervix check or is it part of a natural progression?  I had a small, I don't want to call it a clot but it seemed more like a clot - but not what I'd expect for a 'bloody show' based on reading/descriptions.

Thicker glops of discharge continue (periodically) but that's been happening for weeks, not sure it's pieces of mucus plug. I have felt pressure and even at times like I need to poo but I am not prepared to do so.  I guess it doesn't matter since none of this means anything is imminent since everyone is different.

I guess I'm officially looking forward to Wednesday's appointment to see if we've progressed at all.

Girl has also taken to not just pushing her butt out above and to the right of my belly button but also pushing out a leg or something to the left of my belly button.  She's definitely feeling cramped in there.

Holding on the launch sequence

My blood pressure remains good and our little one's heart rate remains in the 150s.  Today I had my first exam to find we're at 1cm, 50% effaced, and -2 station.  So really, no progress at this point.  I really need to get out and walk - but with the pressure I've been feeling I can imagine that would feel rather horrendous to get too far from the house w/o something to lean on.  Is it wrong to think that maybe walking w/ a shopping cart is a good idea... even if I don't need to be shopping?

I had a miserable night of sleep too, in part thanks to ice cream we went for around 8.  I kept tasting it through the night if my head lulled too far to the side or I was trying to sleep on either side.  Bleh.  Still not screaming and crying to be done, but I am ready to see some action if for no other reason than to avoid feeling the pressure of being late.

Change in support personnel

Yesterday I met with the two 'leaders' of the doula group here and was able to talk some things through with them.  I had talked with the one several times via email and phone since last Wednesday and they're working to give me a viable solution.  I will be proceeding with their help as one or the other should be available when I go into labor.

This is a good thing because I'm feeling more and more pressure each day.  Granted, yesterday I did a little too much in the evening so I had myself hurting, but even without all of that at times when I stand I really feel the lower belly pressure.  I guess it makes sense since we're at the two week mark.  Time has really flown.

Baby's on fire!

Two nights ago I got the 0-6 month pacifiers sterilized and ready to go.  I know some say to not introduce the paci until you've got breastfeeding established, but I wanted to have them ready in case they are what I need to soothe... plus there is those that say using a paci helps prevent SIDS.  I was not ready to tackle all of the bottles however as more reading materials say to wait a while on those.  One thing at a time I guess.

Yesterday I had a weekly appointment.  My doula was to attend.  I hate to admit it, but I anticipated it would not happen.  Still when I got the text she wasn't coming it put me in tears.  I had to tell her we need to sever the contract, and I talked to one of the leads for their group.  She is going to see what other doula options I have, but I still don't think there is much time to build that relationship.  I'm so torn.  For the past few months I didn't think this was going to be something we were going to do alone, but I sure don't want it with a stranger either.

Last week's doctor's appointment had a slight dip down in heart rate to the 140s, but we were back in the 150s yesterday.  My group b strep results also came back negative, so yay!  No need for antibiotics in labor, which means I might be able to get them to just do a hep-lock instead of needing to drag the IV around while I labor.

Baby also had her first concert this evening!  I couldn't resist the desire to go see Die Antwoord (hence this post title).  A friend from out of town decided to join me and we headed in on the T (how incredibly convenient).  It was nice to realize there are general admission seats upstairs, which is where I ended up staying the whole time, so I still feel a-okay today, despite a little swelling my ankles had from sitting there for hours.

By the way how are we down to 19 days and counting until my due date?

Soon enough

I remember looking at posts announcing a new baby (on facebook) with happiness for the parents but that tinge of jealousy that was all too palpable.  Now as I scroll and see new babies all I can think is _soon_... very very _soon_.  I've waited a very long time and it still almost doesn't seem real.

On the other hand I have friends that post their pain and anguish after loosing a baby.  I have no words to offer comfort and I'll admit moments of guilt for posting my joy and moments of worry that I could still very easily end up in their shoes.  I refuse to sit and worry about these things as I know that one ounce of worry does nothing for me or the baby, but the thoughts are there.

First weekly appointment

We're to the weekly appointments, today being the first at 36w.  Today we did a group b strep swab, which I'll find out the results to next week.  The doctor also went through their recommendations for when to call etc etc.  The little one's heart rate remains nice and strong in the 140s.

One more boring visit and then in two weeks we start checking effacement, dilation, and station!

Last night I tried to pull everything from the Saturday shower out of the bags and get things into piles that will be easier to show to my guy.  From there we can make decisions on what is going to try and get returned if in a size we have too much of or duplicates of and then move on to washing and putting away.

He did get the car seat bases installed, but the one in my car feels awfully loose.  I've been watching some additional videos and will play around with it a bit before I make an appointment to get it inspected at the local fire station.

The countdown is on

A couple of days ago it settled in that we had one month left, oh man... and now today, it's August, the actual month she is due in (even though chances may be good she'll wait til September).  I feel like there is a giant countdown clock that just lit up.

My weight did start to go up again, so that tick downward might have been water, or it could be because of the cooking.  With my sister visiting she took to the store to gather more supplies and got cooking yesterday while I finished up my work afternoon.  I joined her after work and all in all we ended up with:  kale lasagna roll ups, squash casserole, crispy chicken and rice casserole, chicken and cauliflower casserole (a la Slippy's recipe modified from broccoli), "incredible" chicken, a tray of honey lime chicken enchiladas that are amazing(!), and two loaves of banana bread following the recipe I pulled together a few weeks ago.  We were so whooped last night.

Once again overwhelmed

My guy's Mom and sister put on quite the over the top to do/tea time/shower for us this weekend.  It was crazy to see how many people were there and how she converted her whole downstairs to put the focus on us.  Every detail was attended to.  The food and drink was amazing, the decorating touches were beyond, her fine china was out for tea, everyone was all there in one room!

It rained pretty hard leading into the weekend and was steady on our drive their way, but things cleared and the sun prevailed - making it an even more lovely day.  We came home with another very full vehicle - making our previous stockpile of diapers look tiny.  There is another mound of goodies to be sorted through upstairs in the baby's room awaiting my attention.

More from the registry completion order has also arrived, so with a quick load of laundry now the pack and play with its new mattress is also ready for action in the living room.  I was able to complete one set of thank you cards for my side of the family this morning, which are now ready to go in the mailbox.  Also off of the list this weekend is getting the car seat bases installed, now I need to stop in and get mine inspected.  I'm hoping these few things being off of the list will give me rest tonight.  I was once again restless last night from all of the excitement and new additions to the list.

Dreams about baby

I had my first dreams with baby in them!  I didn't sleep great last night, first with needing to get up a few times to pee and then a stretch where I just laid there awake.  But when I did get back to sleep it was full of dreams.  One I remember holding her and her rooting, which I recognized for what it was - that she was hungry.  In another or maybe some twisted offshoot of the first I was on a cruise ship (go figure) and someone had taken her.  I was freaking out because we needed to find her but no one else seemed too worried because "no one could leave the ship with her".  I remember even thinking we didn't have time to "make another one" that we needed to find her.  *shakes head at self*

Second Wind

I feel great.  I slept straight through the night, not needing to get up to pee or move because I was sore.  When I went to get out of bed I rolled out easier than I have in weeks and walked (not waddled to the bathroom) without even the slightest twinge in my hips (after not moving all night)!  Is this the calm before the storm?

I'm down another pound this morning over yesterday too, but it's much cooler out, so I really think this one was due to swelling/water.  I gotta admit this sure makes the thought of taking weight back off seem so much more feasible after she comes.

Trying to wrap things up and unwrapping more gifts

I did not get the items cleaned that I had hoped this past weekend, but I did get the cover off of the swing ready for the washer and the rest ready for a scrub down.

The gifts from the second shower that took place a few weekends ago were delivered to me on Sunday - so we sat down tonight and opened gifts.  I am pretty surprised by how many little outfits are totally my taste and something I would have picked out.  They also wrote on notecards name suggestions - many focused on rehashing my mother or grandmother's name.  I have videos to watch from their gathering still so there may be some more suggestions on there.  Best gift?  Sorry I have to give it - hands down - to the little bench Uncle Ronnie made for us.  I had one he made for me when I was little.  I sat in front of the tv with that thing propped in front of me for much of my younger years... and I probably ate a ton of peanut butter sammies on it.  To see it brought a huge smile to my face and a tear to my eye.

Side note there is officially nothing left of my belly button.  It is no longer concave in any capacity.  Looking at it straight on it looks a little like a sideways pig nose (two little divots).

I also finally caved and made a call to the nurse line today.  My weight gain has slowed...and even comparing to last Monday - I lost two pounds.  Sure, my ankles aren't as swollen, but after reading those other articles I just had a moment and wanted to hear some reassurance from the doctor's office that I shouldn't worry as long as I continue to feel her moving at a normal pace.  Believe me, not gaining more weight is NOT something I intend to complain about.

Go go go!

I headed out early today and used the completion discount at Target to get a few more items from that list.  I also found a cute little sleeper w/ hedgies on it that I couldn't resist and a clearanced soft white dress that is perfect for her baptism.  I also stopped for a pedi.  Getting the foot and calf rub was so nice.  I'm hoping the pretty purple polish lasts until we're ready for kiddo to come.

Now it's time to do some prep work - yay for weekends.  Today I made a batch of stuffed shells (with kale), a chicken broccoli casserole, and pasta sauce - with meatballs - to freeze.  I'm also making a batch of stuffed peppers (fresh goodies from the farm basket) for dinner, but the leftovers are intended for the freezer.  My hope is that my stamina will hold and I can get all of the dishes dealt with this evening.

Tomorrow I'm making a pork roast in the slower cooker... that however will be tomorrow's eats and leftovers for early in the week. I do have a few used items I wanted to get cleaned up this weekend (the bottom of the pack n play - I did clean the other parts, the ones that were submersible the week before last, but I don't know if I mentioned that here - and the swing).  I am also expecting the mattress tomorrow, so maybe I can wipe that off and get the crib made.

A few more boxes checked

The mattress (and a bunch of other items) are ordered from the Amazon completion discount and on the way.  It will be nice to get the crib made up and ready to go!

I also purchased a few things to prep some meals to put in the freezer this weekend.  Fingers crossed that the freezer in the basement is still up for the task.

I think the next time Daddy is here I'll have him put the car seat in my car so I can go get it checked.  Everything I read sounds like every seat protector does damage and/or is a problem to use with the car seat.

Mentally I don't think I'll go early, but I did just read an article on early signs of labor which has me thinking.  So I guess it's good if I get a little nesting in over the next week.

1).  Baby drops:  head down at least... perhaps not 'dropped' but it's possible.
2).  Cervix dilates:  haven't been checked - dunno.
3).  More cramps and back pain:  I've had some cramps in the front low and pains in my back sleeping - which compared to earlier one when I felt none.
4).  Joints feel looser:  I can't check this one, but I am needing to move a bit slower after I roll out of bed.
5).  Diarrhea:  It's definitely been looser, but not diarrhea.
6).  Stop gaining weight:  Well, it's been a few weeks since I've had a major leap.  I guess I attributed that to the swelling and water gain that then passed, but I'm swelling again and still not up more than a half a pound.
7).  Extra tired:  Check, but this is probably because I'm not sleeping as well in the first place.
8).  Discharge changes:  Nope, not this one.
9).  Stronger/More frequent contractions:  I haven't had any braxton hicks to my awareness, so... saying no here doesn't really sway me either way.
10).  Water breaks:  Definitely not yet... who needs this on a list to tell them it's coming soon?

Last chance to come really early!

Ok kiddo.  This is your last chance to come really early... after today you need to wait until August 23rd (yeah, I really don't want a Leo).

I may change my mind in coming weeks if my ability to get a good night's sleep remains as it has been the past two nights.

Heading in the right direction

I had another doctor appointment today.  One more spread two-weeks out and then it is every week... so we booked them up through August 23, which just highlights how imminent everything is!

The appointment was the fastest one yet.  I was out of there less than 15 minutes after my scheduled time and I only arrived a few minutes early.  The heartrate was super strong at 165, which was nice after she was slower last visit - but it definitely confirms last time she was sleeping and this time since she was moving about as we waited for the doctor it all makes sense.

I also received confirmation that she is head down and the hard bump I've been noting above my belly button or off to the right is her butt, which is good since I've been patting it on the regular.

Photos came back and I'm pleased with them.  In many I do look larger than I realized I am, but I guess I have  apretty good excuse.

Waiting to see photos and puffing up more

Saturday morning was an early one as promised.  I was out the door just before 8:30am to get to the park on time.  It was already starting to get warmer out there, so I'm glad it was early in the day.

I knew my feet were swollen, but I clearly didn't realize how much.  The boots I took with for one of the outfits would NOT go on - no way, no how.  At least the slip ons I had with me matched.  Later in the afternoon I went to put those same slip ons back on my feet to run for the mail and they wouldn't go the whole way on.  My feet are definitely more swollen than they were the first time they puffed up.  Still sticking to the feet/ankle and slightly up into my calves (as of last night) - nothing in my hands or face, so I'm not worried, just a bit uncomfortable.  A soak in the tub before bed last evening definitely helped a bit.

The park was quite nice.  The photographer was eager to get the shots we wanted.  I just hope I don't look goofy in stuff, we'll see.  We did a few along a walking bridge, and by a covered bridge, and by a more open field.  I'm sure we'll get a few good ones - even if there are some bad ones of me in there.

Like a balloon - let's capture that on film!

I'm swelling back up, well at least my feet and ankles are.  It's so unpleasant.  Getting down on the floor and back up for some of my cleaning tasks is already difficult, but when you place a foot sideways and FEEL the swelling ugh.

I looked around a little for a massage place - but I am starting to think I won't be getting massages out here.  It looks like pricing is about double what I paid back in Jingletown - especially for maternity massage - and at least in Jtown I knew I was going to get a good massage.

Tomorrow morning we're scheduled to meet the photographer at Mingo Creek Park for my maternity shoot.  I had one dress purchased for the event and pulled but of course he has nothing that matches.  So I've had to slap together another outfit for some pics with him.  I'm hoping that non-maternity dress/top looks decent in the photos. *sigh*  Still lots to gather up to take with us to that tomorrow.  I'll be up all too early to get myself looking respectable for said event (hair/makeup)... then back for more cleaning before a game night here at my place.  I'm an idiot, why did I allow that on the schedule?

Ch ch ch ch changes

Fortunately, I had a slightly sore arm from the vaccine, but did not get ill in any way, shape, or form.  As a matter of fact for the past so many days I have been feeling even better - smaller or maybe she's sitting in a better position and the swelling in my ankles has reduced to a very mild issue (if I hadn't been swollen previously I wouldn't even notice it right now).  I'll thank the cooler evenings for that last one.  With the water gone I even lost a few pounds!

Last night I had a bit of a rough go with sleep in the middle of the night.  There were some pains coming up across my belly like what was in there was simply too heavy and going to pull the whole thing off.  It seems to start from the bottom left, which is where things 'felt funny' in the past - a very pregnancy related pain in my mind.  Maybe it was braxton hicks, but it seemed to hurt longer than what they claim those would cause.  Of course then the thunderstorms rolled through too, so I was woken again by a puppy in search of part of my bed.

I'm sitting on my completion discount for Amazon right now - and the mattress price dropped back down.  He is encouraging me to wait to place an order since we have another shower at the end of the month, but I'm twitching.  That seems like forever from now and who knows how the prices will trend between now and then.  I think I'm going to try and hold out until the billing cycle for my credit card changes over and then all bets are off.

Vaccine for Mummy

Today I headed out to get a TDAP vaccine. Actually, I did this twice.  The first run out was to the nearby Walgreens (and for a Starbucks run mid-day), but they "couldn't tell if it would be covered by my insurance" - Walgreens, not Starbucks.  *shakes head* After talking to Highmark I learned it is definitely covered and didn't matter which vaccine (I'll cover that later) so I headed to the Giant Eagle pharmacy after work.

I had a little bit of a wait, but I got my Boostrix TDAP.  From what I read there are two options, Boostrix and Adacel.  The first is Class B approved for people 10 and older, where as the other is a Class C for 10-64 year olds.  Sure, neither is perfect, but I'll opt for the lesser of two evils every chance I get.  Now we see if I end up with a sore arm tomorrow.  Hopefully I won't get wiped out by this.

Child and Infant CPR

We finished up our last prenatal class last night:  child and infant CPR (and choking).  Much to my surprise the class lasted 1 1/2 hours, vs 3 which is what they stated, after that they offered to demonstrate adult CPR.  I dunno, when you pay for something like this you kind of want to get what you pay for -- even when you want nothing more to get out of there and get some dinner.

I marvel that every time I take this type of class (years apart) how much the guidance changes.  If anything, I find that more confusing.  If they're not breathing start chest compressions without even checking for a pulse?!  Hopefully we will never need to put any of these lessons into practice.

Another appointment and more nursery work

Monday evening I had yet another routine ob visit.  The only exception is this is the one I had to go up to the hospital for as my regular office could not get me scheduled.  I did meet the male doctor in the practice, and while he seems nice enough (especially since he's the only one who has made any comment about my weight - this one being "your weight is fine") but I'm still hoping for a female to be on call when our time comes.  (Sorry, but my awkwardness makes me sexist.)

For the fourth of July we stayed here and worked to get the nursery back in order.  I am proud to say that the big pile has been beaten back down.  New clothing and fabric-based gifts have mostly been washed (some really vibrant colors are waiting for another load) and put away.  Removing all of the tags etc is a slow process man.  The diapers are sorted - all size 1s are upstairs and the larger ones are organized in the basement.  A few duplicate items are in a bag to head to Target to see if they can be returned.  The changing tray is secured on the dresser.  And... the most fun thing we achieved was getting the decal with her name up above the crib - no changing my mind now!

Overwhelmed with love and hyper stimulated

Yesterday not just one, but TWO showers were held for our little girl.  We drove back to Johnstown to attend the one thrown by friends as it was on the schedule earlier and another was underway with my aunts another hour away.  They videotaped the second one, so I will at least get to enjoy watching - and I'll have that tape to rewatch even after my memories start to fade thanks to baby brain.  The day would have been beyond perfect if only I could have been at two places at once.

I can't believe how many people came in to share the afternoon with me.  I'm so blessed.  It was good to see everyone, it feels like it has been forever since I've seen some of them.  The food was good, the cake even better!  We left with a full SUV and now the floor in the baby's room is full again.  *smacks forehead*  I thought I had that room mostly in order, what a fool I am... and to think I probably have another full sized load coming from the second gathering too!  If that doesn't inspire you to hustle and nest I don't know what will.

There is one more shower on the horizon with his side of the family.  I'm so incredibly overwhelmed with the outpouring thus far, to think there is more coming our way?!  This little girl is beyond loved.  I pray we are able to convey to her just how much.

Putting me as the center of attention tends to get me all riled up.  As such I was up a little late last night and my eyes popped open too early today.  Fortunately I have tomorrow off so I can sleep in a little (I hope) and we can do some sorting, putting away, and get that pile of thank yous well underway.

I said we drove, and that is true.  From there he was off sweating it up outside while I enjoyed my afternoon in the air conditioning.  He then returned to help load up and drove us home to allow me to keep my feet moving to avoid some swelling.  He's definitely a keeper.

Local Le Leche League and Pediatrician

Last night I made my way to a local Le Leche meeting.  Fortunately one of the local groups has evening meetings.  Many tend to meet during the day mid-week, go figure.  There were three other ladies there last evening, so it was comfortable and not too overwhelming for me.  I admit I had some fears about people being super free about breastfeeding, but people stayed covered, so I didn't mentally freak out.  Everyone was very friendly.  I can see myself going back.

I also neglected to report that we met with the recommended pediatrician last week and were very satisfied with our discussion, so we've got a doctor lined up for our wee one!  She is available to come to the hospital for first checkups etc, is onboard with some of our opinions, and offered a great deal of information and dialog.

In other news I am officially heavier than I've ever been.  Today is week 31, so 9 weeks to go, so I am guessing that will tick up by another 10lbs, which would put me at a 35lb gain.  That is at the top end of allowed gain - IF I had started out at what they consider to be a healthy weight.  Since they classify me as overweight (and a mere 2 or 3lbs under what they'd say is obses) based on BMI I'll be 10lbs over what they would want, easy.

I still think if I'm that close to 'obese' they need more categories because there has to be somewhere to go from there given the tremendous (word selected on purpose) variety of even larger sized women I encounter on a very regular basis.

I also have the hospital packing list started.  I want to start setting stuff aside, being the crazy planner I am.  After all, I need to get my stuff in order so I can then start telling him what all he needs to get in order, right?

Contract signing meeting and 3/4 done!

Last night we had our contract meeting with our doula, Sara.  It was nice to sit and talk a little more freely one on one.  I am confident she knows/gets what I'm wanting and will be willing and able to support it providing there isn't medical reason to go another direction.

Craziest moment was filling out the form and putting my name in where it said "Mother's Name".  While you know instantly what they want there, you do have a second where you think "why do they need my Mom's name?  oh wait... that's me... Mother!"

The other craziness is that today is week 30.  3/4 done.  10 weeks to go... 70 days.

I am still getting some heartburn, but have a big container of Tums.  The temps went down a little, so my feet don't feel or look as much like a sausage as they were.  I'm sleeping pretty well and feeling better than I was standing/moving.  All good progress vs the downhill things could easily take at this point in my pregnancy.

Labor and Childbirth... class

Friday night and this (Saturday) morning we had a labor and childbirth class at the hospital.  It was worth taking but it does have me a bit wiped out.  Probably for the best as some of the stuff feeds the thoughts of what could go 'wrong'.  The bonus is there was a Chick-fil-a close by, so I got a delightful lunch after we departed today.

I also reached out to an Etsy seller to start working on a name decal for kiddo's room.  Originally I wanted one that was more child-like and included a few more birds, but with more thinking and hunting I am leaning more towards a decal that has a scripted first and middle name and a larger script last initial.

Appointment Scheduling wah.

My appointment went normally yesterday.  The wee one remains in the 150 range on heartbeat - doing well!  The doctor wasn't worried about the swelling (as noted, I know it's normal) or the pain I had the other night.

I do have my first complaint about this office though... now that I have to go every two weeks it is harder to get scheduled.  This time there wasn't a single appointment for 2 or 3 weeks out here in this office.  So I am scheduled to drive the whole way to the hospital location in 2 1/2 weeks *sigh*  at least they have evening hours so I won't miss as much work, but what an irritation.  She was able to then go ahead and book the next two appointments in advance to make sure I was on their schedule, so that's good at least.  Let me tell you how crazy it feels that the third appointment is August 2.  August.  My due date month.  Yikes.

I took the time to go lay down and cuddle with my guy last night as was starting to feel very necessary.  It was nice to just lay close, or at least as close as the belly would allow.  He was also so kind as to rub my feet and calves for a while, which was delightful.

Joy and Pain, like sunshine and rain?

I'm sitting here today thinking about how incredibly lucky I am with this pregnancy.  I've not had the many of the typical unpleasant symptoms and at my age to say that everything look so healthy at week 29 is truly a blessing.

That said, I do have to note that the swelling in my ankles/feet has started - moreso on the left.  Nothing extreme, but it's worth mentioning to the doctor's office today and watching.  I'm pretty sure it is due to the warmer temps and the fact that I was standing a little more and outside while my sister was here busy working away.

I also was woken before 1am with a rather sharp pain at the lower left of my belly, right at 'that spot' that felt 'odd' to me years ago before I had the miscarriage/found out I was pregnant.  It lasted for just a few minutes, but it was unpleasant and had me nervous to stand to use the restroom.  I was sleeping on my left side as they want you to at this point.  It may have been round ligament pain, but to this point I've only felt that when moving and as soon as I relaxed it went away.  I don't think it was a braxton hicks contraction as it was just at that one area and not hardening my whole tummy.  This too will get mentioned at today's doctor appointment.

I've also had a few bad dreams in the past week.  Nothing about kiddo, but moreso relationships.  I think he and I need a nice cuddle to ease my brain.

Still I know these are all small potatoes worries and I'm grateful.  Girl was pretty quiet while my sister was visiting, so there wasn't really an opportunity to say "here feel", but she's shifting around a little more this morning.  I do think she's just going to be a stubborn/contrary one, but I guess I deserve that.

Breastfeeding class

This past weekend I went to the Breastfeeding Basics class I had signed up for.  It was informative enough and I came back with more reading materials.  We have another class later this week - the labor and delivery one - which spans two days, that should be ... interesting.

I've been trying to get through a book I pulled from the local library:  Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.  They only give you two week loans now, what's up with that?  I'm not that great of a reader!

My sister is in visiting and today she is ironing the goodies for the baby's room.

I also had a small miracle last night - I didn't get up once to go to the bathroom.  Heck, I didn't even move.  When I woke I was expecting to be in major pain from not budging, but I feel great today.  That is definitely worthy of the miracle label.

Doula meet and greet

Last night we attended a meet and greet for a regional doula group in downtown Pixburgh near Magee Hospital.  I didn't _want_ to drive into the burgh on a week night but I knew it was the best way to meet a few of these ladies in person, get some more information, and to see if we found someone that would be a fit.

3 of the 6 in this group were in attendance and all three seemed quite pleasant.  2 of the 3 there had been recommended by my chiropractor by name.  We had some conversation about it on the way home and after - so this morning I reached out to the group and asked about the availability of one doula to support our birth.  It's an added expense, but I think it will be worth it.  At least it is something that can come out of pre-tax HSA dollars too.

If she is available and willing, there should be a couple of meetings with her in the next so many weeks before we ever go into labor, but that window is fairly small, so I needed to get the ball in motion.

Sugar sugar... awwww honey honey

My glucose results are back at 114.  From what I had read online the number to be under was 140, but my office sets the threshold at 135.  Regardless, I'm good to go.  What a relief!

Baby's on fire!

Almost right on cue as week 27 ends, firmly landing me in the third trimester, heartburn has set in.  It started yesterday afternoon and quelled somewhat with eating dinner - which is shocking since I loaded kiddo up with lots of garlic and onions - but alas it returned again this afternoon.  It isn't bad, but it's there, just lingering.

My Dad was constantly popping tums, bleh.  I don't know how he could stand it.  I'm going to need to grab me a roll to see if they'll help me out.  I just keep telling myself how lucky I've been - this is nothing.

Mandatory Glucola poisoning complete

I've already pointed out how horrible glucola's ingredients are now today I can share how horrible it is in general.  Granted I was fearing way worse, but it definitely was not appealing.  It smelled like orange crush, which doesn't sound bad - but it didn't taste like flat soda to me.  There was an almost heavy feeling to it that had my stomach a little displeased before I left for my appointment.

It took them a little longer to get my blood draw past the hour point since they once again took a stab, couldn't get a vein and had to bring in the ob nurse.  She ended up sticking my hand - again.  I had 4 large pint glasses of water this morning so seriously, what is the problem here?  Regardless, it's done, now I wait and hope I don't need to concern myself with a 3-hour test and/or gestational diabetes.

Ding ding - third round!

Some calculations say the third trimester starts next week, but the calendar I am following says it starts today!  It feels crazy to acknowledge I am this far along.  They say the third trimester is a challenge so I know things will be a changing.

This evening I did get started on the decal on the baby's wall.  An hour or so later I called it a night and I'll save the last few pieces for him to help finish up tomorrow.  Hopefully this will buy the time to also get the brackets up for curtains, so when I finally get them here they too can go up immediately (after ironing).

Pretty sure on the first name?

We talked a little today and while we already had a short list and weren't too far off - I think we have a first name.  I want us to say "this is it" out loud, but I am pretty sure we're there. Do I dare start calling her by this name when I talk to her?

Am I becoming that woman?

Today the box containing my dark purple Ubbi diaper pail arrived and I was excited!  Who would have ever thought?  I think part of it was the good deal in my opinion.  Sure Amazon had other colors for close to the price I paid, but in the dark purple they wanted nearly 2x as much.

I'm feeling girl moving stronger and stronger each day.  The one thing I'm still waiting for are hiccups.  This is one of those things that reminds me there are lots of 'milestones' to look forward to.

Making sure I've got things covered

I've now purchased a few nursing bras.  It seems early as my boobs haven't actually changed size, but my ribs are definitely shifting a bit wider and some of my regular bras feel like they're cutting into me by the end of the day.  The two I bought today do not have underwire and are more of a stretchy fabric. They're designed to 'grow with you' or so they proclaim.  I went with the one that was for 40C (and a few other larger cups) (rather than my normal 38C) since I'm already feeling the need for something larger around my ribs.  Since I'm going to need to get use to sleeping in something, or so I'm told, these seem like they'd be pretty comfortable and up to the task.  It was so odd and foreign to buy bras that didn't come from Victoria's Secret.

It's pretty wrong that this seems like one of the strangest baby-related purchases that needed to be made.

One purple wall!

Mum W came today and painted the one wall in the nursery for me today.  I so appreciate her getting this done for me and allowing me to stay out of the paint fumes.  I think it looks pretty nice - but I'm eager to see it with the decal, but I will wait a while to allow the paint to dry fully and avoid any issues when the decal would get peeled off down the road.

The second trimester is not the easier for me

They say the second trimester is usually the 'easiest' of the three.  Since I didn't have morning sickness and whatnot I have to disagree (that's saying a lot since I don't think I've had blood draws in my second trimester).  Sure I only have two weeks left in said second trimester, but I'd already say it's less pleasurable than the first.

My hip and around to my lower back has been hurting for a week, the periodic rib pains as they expand, the sore belly button, the headaches are always on my mind as to keep them at bay with stretches and sitting properly, sleeping has become more challenging, I cannot do as much without feeling achy and needing to sit, I'm moodier lately too (more tears than I want to admit), and I'm putting on too much weight (IMHO) whereas in the first trimester I was concerned that I wasn't putting on weight.

Sure there are perks here that I didn't have in the first trimester - like feeling her move, although that has slowed and been less defined already too (normal to my understanding).

I'm not miserable, but it does leave me wondering (and worrying a little) about how things will progress pain and discomfort wise.  I'm not trying to complain just document.  I know this is all worth it.

Baby's First Baseball Game

I reported on baby's first hockey game, so I guess I need to also point out that we went to her first baseball game last night, with thanks to company free tickets her Daddy got from work.  Of course the Pirates facility was no where near sold out or as loud as PPG Paints for the Penguins, so the noise didn't get her riled up.

Does this mean I need to get to an early Steelers game before she comes too?

The baby's name is...

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.  I have no issue with people asking if we've picked a name yet, don't get me wrong... but I was about at the end of my rope with people randomly sending me names.  Now I just got a message with bullet points on don'ts for names.  Not a link to an article, but a personal list of directives.  I'm half pissed and half insulted with a candy coating of crying about it.  Don't people, just don't.

Another chiro visit and picking out a glider chair

I had my second trip to the chiropractor and received the contact information for doulas and a pediatrician.  I did reach out to the doulas via their website but have not yet heard back.  My hips were aching as I left the chiro, and I'm not doing them any favors as I've needed to get some things accomplished (mowing the lawn, getting items that needed donated loaded up and out of the house), but at least those items are finished - now I just need to clean in preparation for painting the wall in the baby's room next weekend.

I also made the trek to the Lazboy Gallery and picked out my very own glider/recliner.  It will be a while until it arrives, but this will head to the nursery so I can relax for all of those middle of the night rocking sessions.  I truly believe this means all we NEED still in the nursery (other than getting the painting and decal up) is the mattress.

Seeing where it will all go down

Yesterday felt like it was all about baby.  First the furniture I ordered for her room was delivered.  I'm very pleased with the sizing and the color - it matches QUITE well with the crib and the changing topper.

Last night we the headed north to the hospital for a tour of the facility.  Once again I am pretty sure I was the least far along of the mothers there.  I don't know what I was expecting, but I had a few moments while there.

First, I could clearly see their agenda painted on things.  I don't mind a hospital saying "we recommend" or "we encourage" but I do not like hearing "here at ... we always" or "required".  Mmm, no.  This makes me instantly want to resist because I know my opinions/concerns won't be received much less considered.  I'm stubborn, this I know.  There are some things I can waffle on - like their view of bedding in vs having a little bit of quiet time w/ the kid in the nursery and there are some things that I will dig my heels in on.

Second, I was ready to cry a little - maybe nerves?  It didn't feel more real, but it definitely feels more imminent to be there and see where it will all go down.  It was pretty quiet there, only a few doors closed which I presume contained mothers who recently gave birth.

Finally, it was nice to see the security measures they have in place to protect your baby, but at the same time it was also a little unnerving to even think about that being a necessity - which then gave me the wee bit of panic that leads me to say I am willing to waffle on the bedding in vs nursery thing.  With all of the things they "require" testing your child on I kind of don't want them taking my child from my sight for fear they'll be assessing and sticking her with needles unbeknownst to me.  Well hello there overprotective mothering instinct.

Little one on the other hand has been exceedingly peaceful the past day or so.  Time for me to get up, move around, and get her moving a little bit too.

Chiropractic care and potentially more doctors?

I'm not hurting - yet.  But I know that with my past issues of my hips moving out of alignment and the fact that ligaments and whatnot will loosen throughout the pregnancy I figure it is a matter of time.  So yesterday I had my first chiropractic appointment with a local doctor.  I am thinking I chose wisely.

It is a husband/wife team.  They too see it the way I do:  give me ways to fix the situation rather than creating a cycle where I am dependent upon coming to your office for relief for the rest of eternity.  Granted, for now I don't mind regular appointments, as from what I read (and it makes sense) getting and staying aligned during pregnancy can help a lot of things - including labor and delivery.

They had some neat toys I hadn't seen before to assess the nerves and muscles in my back without x-rays.  It is kind of interesting when the areas that 'light up' are the ones you do have issues.  The first is the left side of my neck in the back, which is where my tension headaches keep forming.  That was off the charts and over 3000% by their unit of measure.  The other was a spot Ben keeps saying feels bulged around the middle of my back, also on the left.  It hasn't been hurting me, but there it was also lit up red and above and beyond all good readings.

I did get a few unexpected perks from this visit.

First (TMI warning), when I got up this morning I poo'd immediately and not a rabbit pellet little thing, this was legit!  At my morning weigh in I am back down a little even, which makes me feel a little better, but I know I'm still pushing the upper boundary of the acceptable range for this point in time.

Second, she also is going to give me the name of a pediatrician that they use (they have a 5 month old daughter) who is open to discussing vaccinations and altering the schedule there - which is good news because my hunt on this front has been fruitless thus far and met by cold responses of "I don't know anyone who would see patients who don't vaccinate" (*sigh* - that's not what I said!)

These responses at the obgyn and the comment of "that's not typically something the hospital does" in response to my inquiry at the baby basics class with regard to delayed cord clamping also makes me think I need an advocate beyond Ben and I when we're in the act of having kiddo.  I've thought about a doula, but the cost and not knowing where to start has put it at the back of my brain.  Thirdly, the chiro will also be giving me a name for a doula they used.

Baby's First Hockey Game

Last night baby went to her first hockey game!  I was blessed enough that a friend invited me to the 4th game, 2nd round of the Stanley Cup playoffs (Pens vs Caps).  I was very curious how all of the noise would go over.  She was definitely pretty active throughout.  I'm going to assume that means she loved it.  Thank goodness I already have a "I'm told I like hockey" onesie ready for her.

Gearing up for the shift into overdrive

This morning I spoke with a photographer and got on her calendar for maternity photos.  I'm a little uneasy about this, but better to have them and never share them with the world than regret not having them.  Unless something catastrophic happens with this photo shoot, I will also have the photographer do newborn shots too, but for obvious reasons we cannot book a date for that.

Quick appointment today - all looks well.  This was the first visit they took a measurement to the top of the fundus and she stated I was good there.  I was surprised the heart rate was back up to 160 again, but they say that is within normal range.

I asked about the shape of my stomach when I flex the muscles, let's say to sit up from a laying position.  This is diastasis recti and she also said this is common during pregnancy - but it's kind of creepy to know that my stomach muscles are separating.  From what I read this can aggravate lower back pain and pelvic instability - so I'm glad I also asked about visiting a chiropractor and got the thumbs up there.  My hips have gotten out of alignment in the past and I suspect it is likely to occur as we progress.  I've also read that adjustments later in pregnancy can also help ensure an easier delivery.  No guarantees, but if there's a chance why not, right?

One more 4-week span before the next appointment and then into 3-week spans.  Next visit we also do the glucose test.  Now let's take a look at this syrup they call glucosa.  I wasn't thrilled about it to begin with.  The last time I had a sugary soda (since I'm no longer a soda drinker) I felt ill all evening, almost like you would if you were boozing too hard.  Now I get this thing and see what's in it - crap you shouldn't be drinking, much less if you're pregnant.  Bleh.

On a bright note, kiddo gets to attend her first hockey game tonight!  I wonder if I'll feel her reacting to the crowd (or hopefully the horn).

Steady Growth

This past week I have found myself watching the scale with a bit of fear.  I feel like I'm gaining too much now, especially for where I started at pre-pregnancy.  I guess we'll see what the doctors say when I climb on the scale tomorrow.

She too (the wee one) is making steady growth progress - or at least I as far as I can tell from the frequency of her movements that I am experiencing.  I've started to note distinct patterns in the morning and at night as I settle down for bed, but as time has passed I've been feeling her more through the day as well.

On a final note, I did find a youth dresser and a matching adult lingerie chest (taller item) that I ordered for use in the baby's room.  I think these items will work nicely for the size of the room.  While I won't put the mirror on the dresser right away that too is ordered.  In the mean time I also ordered a topper for changing purposes.  It will sit on the dresser (a piece is longer on the back to keep it from sliding forward/off the dresser) and the foam changing pad will go in there.  At this point the only remaining big items left to put the nursery together are the mattress and a rocking chair of some sort.  I did buy the paint too - but we haven't scheduled when it's going up on the wall just yet.

Kickboxer in the making?

There was no doubt in my mind on Wednesday night - I had just settled into bed at my friend's place (I had to travel back to Jtown for work for a few days) and jab jab...... jab jab.  This was definitely not gas and was way more than a little flutter.  I'm calling it.  If it wasn't her before this was definitely it!  I've not gotten anything else since like this, but I've ready enough to know that's ok/normal.  Like I said, back in Jtown, and starting to get to the point where it doesn't just look like I'm fat, so a few others in the training with me were made well aware if they were not already.

I've returned from Jtown with a whole mess of stuff gifted from friends and family. I've been trying to keep the Amazon registry updated with things that are given/purchased for us.  Wow she has a bunch of stuff already.

TMI warning:  I have started to get another typical pregnancy "symptom"... but fortunately I had a therapeutic poo when I got home this evening.  Ugh.  Feeling a bit backed up is miserable!

Slow and steady progress

I did get those lightbulbs and the fixture looks perfect, I'm very pleased.  However, the more I think about it I am really thinking I need to buy legit furniture (read dresser and/or changing table).  They sell just changing table tops, but maybe the older dresser I have is too tall for this.  Plus, I bought a crib that would be usable for several years, doesn't it makes sense to have matching furniture (nothing too pricey) that would also last for those several years?  I have not found anything I love, so we'll see.

I also have to say that I'm pretty sure I felt her moving this morning, but I still remain a bit uncertain and not definite.  We officially started her college fund yesterday at the family Easter gathering.  They always hide eggs for the kids with money in them and there was a color set aside for our kiddo too.

From another part of his family we also received a big bag of like new clothes yesterday.  You see, her one cousin is a year almost exactly older than she will be, so we are fortunate enough to receive hand me overs (down would be speaking too poorly about the quality of these items).

Now that I've not only strung the little snippets of video together to make something a little more watchable but I've also blurred the PII at the top I'm going to go ahead and put this here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m77MfPeJG1w&feature=youtu.be

Nursery Progress

Last night we got things moving along.  The crib is put together and the new light fixture is up.  I need to pick up some light bulbs to really see how it looks, but I'm happy so far.  We also received the decal for the wall, giving me an idea of what color paint I need to buy, so the shopping list is growing.

Half way

Today marks the start of week 20.  We are officially half way.  I called the doctor's office to confirm all was well with the ultrasound last week and was told it was "perfect".  Now if we can just get her to start moving that I can feel it!

Anatomy Scan Ultrasound

One day can offer so much to update on!  Yesterday we had both the anatomy scan ultrasound and a regular monthly appointment at the obgyn.  I'll start by saying that the tech commented that "everything was normal", but only after she had answered a question I had by saying she "wasn't allowed to give results", so for whatever that's worth.  I'm hopeful that I will get a call from the obgyn as well when they have/review all of the information to confirm the same.

I'll also throw these right here:

The tech did her work and then took a break to have me empty my bladder and move around to try and get kiddo to be a little more cooperative so she could get a few more images she needed.  At one point the tech commented about how calm she is.  I take that as a good thing - I'm keeping my stress down, yay me!  Everything we saw looked good (two arms, two legs, feet w/ toes, hands w/ fingers etc).

I will say I'm disappointed with the videos we got.  There are about 16 3-second clips on the DVD.  Sure there are a few little moments caught that are pretty cool, like when she was opening her mouth right before she then put her hand to her mouth like she was going to suck a thumb (but then it looked like she instead stuck a finger up her nose).  I guess I just expected something a little longer.

At the regular appointment a little later the heartbeat was still in a good range and no issues there (no blood draw either - yay!)  My weight is creeping up now, I will need to be a little more careful w/ my junk intake if I want to stay under the number I had in my head by the end, but I'm still in a healthy range.

We did stop at a consignment sale twice in the past week at which we managed to score a like-new boppy pillow w/ cover and a very clean pack n play w/ a changing 'tray' and mobile - both at a fraction of the new price.  There is so much STUFF for kiddo already it's crazy.  How can something so small have so much stuff that takes up so much space?!