This week could be the start of things again... I am sitting here attempting to create a list of questions and notes to take with me to my yearly exam on Thursday.  I am going to lay things out and if there isn't a willingness to try/do something different, I don't know if I can proceed trying again without a little more of a chance of the timing being assured.  In that case, I just don't know.

I did double check and one of the donors I had narrowed things down to remains available, at least right now he is.  If things sound hopeful I'd finish up this pack of pills and start tracking my cycles for the next few months with the intention to try in July.

Watching time passing...

Nothing much to say as of late.  I remain on birth control, enjoying the shorter, less painful, and more predictable periods, but a bit pensive as I watch more time tick by.

In the mean time I've started eyeballing adoption websites again.  I just can't imagine those challenges in addition to conceding that I would not have someone that was _of_ me.  Now that's not what is stopping me, I know many kids out there need someone and yes, I'd love them and do the best I could for them.  I know too that adopting doesn't prevent me from finding Mr. Right and having one of my own either.

Adoption for me would probably not mean a baby.  As a single woman, I know some places would still shy away from me.  Heck, I look at profiles of older kids who state how they'd love to have a mom and dad and even siblings and realize how short I would fall of their expectations as well.

I guess right now I am just circling and trying to figure out what to do.  I know that lack of action doesn't slow down the clock.  What to do?

Anything that starts with one hundred... is too much.

Since my last post... I did stop bleeding, thank goodness, this past Saturday, making that period a full two weeks.  Come Monday I called the office back and didn't get another call... until that evening, when the doctor herself called and left me a message - including her cell phone number.  So, on Tuesday I talked with her and her only suggestion was to try and 'reset' my hormones a bit by going back on birth control.  Her belief is that this is what my body would go to on its own if left unchecked.  How unfair is that?  I don't know what that means for future attempts, but I guess it's off the table right now anyhow.

You see, with some issues at work it would be a really bad time to be pregnant.  I can't help but count the months and say if I had not had the problems back in February I'd be showing by now... and worrying about losing your job or trying to get another one in that situation is horrifying.

The next turn of events is that the prescription she sent in does not have a generic, so I just got nailed with a $120 bill for three months worth of pills.  So not cool.

Fighting the Pills

All month my body has been fighting the pills. Some light spotting (less than what was occurring without) and the feelings of would-be starter cramps. I've experienced more down feelings than I was use to recently. Related? Maybe starting them again was a mistake. I don't know. I don't have immediate plans to try again, so I suppose staying on for a little while longer can't be that bad of a thing.

Feeling less than great

I'm feeling a bit off, thanks to being without my headache meds for a couple of days. Sure I had myself down to half of my normal dosage every other day... but going without has me feeling spacey. I guess it's better than the joint pains I had the last time I tried to stop taking these, no?

So says the PCP

Today I had an appointment with my primary care physician. I've done some research on my own that had a wealth of conflict on the concerns associated with Effexor. Hopefully I won't end up with a constant headache as a result, but we're going to ween me down and off - I really hope I won't be achy this time.

I got to ask my questions and know that I need to axe my allergy meds too. Need to ask them about the weekly shots when I go in. Also got myself a tetanus shot today. Fun, fun.

I was worrying as the timelines said I should have peaked ovulation yesterday (keeping in mind that last month the tests registered ovulation the day before and the day of that peak). It was a short worry however, as the test registered today. I suspect there will be lots of mini-frustrations and worries about how my body is functioning as things progress.

Feeling blah, starting prenatals, and planning

I'm not feeling great today and I didn't take a prenatal last night. It feels a little like cramps, but different and more persistent. What on earth is this body trying to say? I did take the first prenatal tonight however, so we'll see if I feel bad tomorrow too. If so, I can blame it on whatever my issue was today and not the prenatal so I don't get a mental issue with the prenatals.

My copy of What to Expect when you're Expecting arrived today too, so I have something to read since it covers some of the preliminary things you should consider and do.

I also discovered last night that Cryogenics Lab, which was bought by Fairfax Cryobank, lets you see photos etc for free! So, that's kind of cool, I can "shop" there and put off purchasing access for a little while longer. I know already I need to get on the obgyn's calendar and I need to hit the dentist, so I've got some things to get out of the way in the near term.

Another apprehension

Sunday nights I refill my daily pill holder. This week, now that a cycle is over, will start me on prenatal vitamins on Tuesday. I'm a bit nervous about them as I've heard people complain about nightmares and other odd things occurring after they started prenatals. I guess time will tell.

Last weekend

So this is the last weekend without tests and whatnot. I just thought of that, so I figured I'd mention it. Next weekend I'll start using the ovulation tests to make sure that is taking place.

After my next period I figure I will start the prenatals (since they finally arrived). Let me tell you, they look rather large and smell like a pill for the dogs.

I was going to order the "What to expect when you're expecting" book (seems like the status quo for reading, but I can't find the overstock gift card I KNOW is around here somewhere.

Prenatals and Ovulation Tests Ordered

It seems committing in some strange way.  After carefully assessing multiple types of prenatal vitamins and comparing them against the recommendations spelled out on WebMD (how geeky is that) I went with the Prenatal One Multivitamin by Rainbow Light

Recommended Amounts
400 mcg of folic acid
400 IU of vitamin D
200 to 300 mg of calcium
70 mg of vitamin C
3 mg of thiamine
2 mg of riboflavin
20 mg of niacine
6 mcg of vitamin B12
10 mg of vitamin E
15 mg of zinc
17 mg of iron

Rainbow Light Prenatal One Multivitamin


Long story short everything is met, plus it's double on folic acid, above the recommended on vitamin C, B12, E, and Iron - and it didn't seem to have as many complaints by people getting sick from the vitamins.

The tougher selection was on ovulation tests. How many do I need? Does it matter what brand? I ended up buying a combo pack of 25 ovulation prediction strips with 10 pregnancy test strips - I figure I'm likely to need that in the future too. It seemed so wasteful to get a big box of these big plastic contraptions, so I ended up buying these sticks. I guess I'll need to get some little disposable cups though, as they need dipped. We'll see how that goes.

Off the pill

Ok.  I'm not starting a new pack tonight.  At least then I can start to see how my cycles play out on their own.  Right?

Other choices and potential for bad combinations

With my work situation being less than fantastic lately I've decided to step up finishing some open activities around my house so it can go on the market if need be.  I admit, I've actively been looking at houses and jobs near my sister.

Clearly, making a move to another state and another job in the same timeframe when I'm considering getting pregnant complicates things.  I could feasibly meet someone after I get moved.  It would be nice to have someone else to help with a baby if there was to be one.

I'm trying to figure out if I want to take another month of birth control pills or stop now so I can start tracking my periods.  I guess I need to decide soon as my next pack starts on Sunday.  What to do what to do.