Seeking a comfortable carry

With girl wanting to be held when she is awake my arms are getting a workout.  I am also not able to continue about tasks.  I had purchased a bjorn, but the minimum weight is 8lbs, which we're still not up to.  Regardless I put it on today and placed her in to get a feel for it.  Even when she's trying to wiggle about I think I'll still be able to do what I need to do, like type this post!  I also purchased a ring sling, which should arrive today.  Either way, I am hoping it will allow her to cuddle with me while I continue to function.  This is critical for me to go back part time at the end of next week and keep her home a little longer.  I think this is also going to be good for my arms and back.

Doula meet and greet

Last night we attended a meet and greet for a regional doula group in downtown Pixburgh near Magee Hospital.  I didn't _want_ to drive into the burgh on a week night but I knew it was the best way to meet a few of these ladies in person, get some more information, and to see if we found someone that would be a fit.

3 of the 6 in this group were in attendance and all three seemed quite pleasant.  2 of the 3 there had been recommended by my chiropractor by name.  We had some conversation about it on the way home and after - so this morning I reached out to the group and asked about the availability of one doula to support our birth.  It's an added expense, but I think it will be worth it.  At least it is something that can come out of pre-tax HSA dollars too.

If she is available and willing, there should be a couple of meetings with her in the next so many weeks before we ever go into labor, but that window is fairly small, so I needed to get the ball in motion.

Today's appt wasn't what I was hoping for - a big not recommended on the use of drugs to help ensure ovulation timing and a request to talk with one of the other doctors, a male doctor.  Now, one thing I have made it to this point in my life without is a male gynecologist and I'd like to keep it that way.  As she said though, just a talking meeting and he'd probably be okay with one of the females doing the actual IUI procedure - if I decided to do it in office.  The other alternative presented to me was something called
'the stork' which could potentially allow me to do what needs done at home, that COULD solve some of the timing issues (weekends and reducing the stress of not being able to go in when I actually ovulate).

I guess I'm going off of my pills and going to start tracking ovulation and periods.  We'll see.

It's just not the best circumstances.

The prices are going up for specimens, which presses me to think and make more decisions on timelines and such. This always brings me back to a few issues - all relating to where I am.
1). The lack of options if my ovulation lands on a weekend.
2). The less than involved doctor's office I have. I shouldn't have to be the one to bring up the conversation of using something to trigger ovulation, but I think that's where I am.

To be honest, I'm long overdue for a regular exam (fun), so I need to make an appointment anyhow. Perhaps it can be a talking appointment too so I can get their view, opinions, and see if MW V will be more on board and active in my quest, like I'd think she would be, vs Dr S.

Sadly, I suspect I won't get a pap appointment for over a month out. But, since I started another pack of pills on Sunday, is that a big issue? Probably not.

On another note, both of my favorited donors are showing as having IUI units available.

Other choices and potential for bad combinations

With my work situation being less than fantastic lately I've decided to step up finishing some open activities around my house so it can go on the market if need be.  I admit, I've actively been looking at houses and jobs near my sister.

Clearly, making a move to another state and another job in the same timeframe when I'm considering getting pregnant complicates things.  I could feasibly meet someone after I get moved.  It would be nice to have someone else to help with a baby if there was to be one.

I'm trying to figure out if I want to take another month of birth control pills or stop now so I can start tracking my periods.  I guess I need to decide soon as my next pack starts on Sunday.  What to do what to do.

Strange places...

So I was clicking around on craigslist's dating listings simply because, yes I am that desperate.  Color my shocked to see a listing for someone offering to "knock you up".  While this isn't the route I have any desire of going, it put the thoughts of finding someone I know back into my thought process.  While the monetary cost of getting IUI is a factor, especially if it takes a while to get pregnant.

While it would be easier to have a free source and method of insemination I know how much more complicated that would be.  I wish I could just foresee Mr. Right appearing in the very near term.

Factor in my other thoughts of trying to ready the house to be put on the market, just in case, and in semi-preparation, as I do not intend to stay here forever.  When is the right time to go?  Will I find someone special when I am somewhere else?  Would I have issues starting the process and then going to another job?  Where would I get better medical care before and during the process and pregnancy?

Where I'm coming from.

I am in my mid-30's and starting to feel like I'm ticking.  Is it because children aren't an option?  Am I just seeing things in a new light?  Is it because the ex is having kids even though neither of us "wanted" to go that route?  Whatever it is, this has been on my mind for quite a while.  In the past few months (some may call it a midlife crisis, others may say I took charge of my life), I "decided".  Come spring of 2011 I will be working towards a child of my own.

I've taken the next step and started to contemplate what it would be like to raise a child on my own.  Having a child truly 'alone' is impossible, so what are the options for a gal who has a heck of a time in the dating world?  I've contemplated adoption, but I think that part of the innate draw is to go through the whole process.  A random encounter? - too risky with too many future implications.  Asking a male friend to assist? - how awkward is that and still fraught with future implications.  So, that brings me to donors unknown to me.

Is this crazy to even consider?  Will I change my mind?  Regardless, this blog will document my actions towards eventuality and might make for something to share with someone- someday.