She remembers.

Last night Avery returned to the doctor, this time for her 6 month visit and two more shots.  She looked at the doctor a bit skeptical during her exam.  While we waited for the nurse to return we giggled and played peek-a-boo.  All of those giggles came abruptly to an end when the shots came.  This time there was screaming.  I picked her up and she would not take her eyes off of the nurse.  I'm pretty sure she was burning this lady's face into her brain.  She also cried most of the ride home and was a bit cranky this morning.  Poor girl.

Yesterday we weighed in at 16lbs 15oz, putting her I believe they said at the 75th percentile for weight; 26" I believe was 50th percentile, and a big ol noggin at the 90th percentile.

The only other food addition since my last post was whole wheat (cereal) as to give us a little more mixing variety.  Tonight we're ready to add something else to the list - what will it be?  I'm thinking maybe mango or pears, although I'd like to get the blueberries sampled as well.

Visiting with Aunt Jackie

Kiddo returned to the doctor last night for a few more shots (it seems like there is an endless list of them).  Since we were already there I did ask them to have the doctor come in to peek in her ears and listen to the rattly breaths.  All seemed fine to the doctor.

Today Avery stayed home from daycare to hang out with Aunt Jackie, as she will a few days during her visit.  This will give us more opportunities for her to nap in her crib and to get her eating off of a spoon.  This week we have an avocado ready to mash up for her.  Late last week she got through a small container of apples.

Ready for Santa

This weekend we had appointments at South Hills Village.  First stop was Santa Claus.  We had a reservation so we could walk straight up, avoiding the line.  Avery didn't take long to tell (and show) him what a good girl she is.  She grabbed ahold of his finger and smiled gleefully for her photo.  I'm glad I got a little snippet of video as he kissed that little hand holding his.

Then we went for a regular photo session.  More insanely cute photos were had.  She remained a happy girl long enough for us to get them before she let us know she was ready to nap.  Great family pics too.  There's something so radiant about her, that Avery makes me look gorgeous too.

Three month weigh in

Avery is officially three months old.  She is also officially over her birth weight, finally.  We knew she was, and we were weighing her here at home, but I am still surprised to report she is over 10 lbs by 4 ounces (as of Monday)!  She got a few more shots, but didn't see the doctor, so they weren't even going to weigh her had I not requested it.

From there I took her to a le Leche League meeting and she wiped out before we left.  She was out pretty early at home and hard too - she even slept until 3am when I woke her to eat without her swaddle sack.

She remains a bit snotty, but her usual happy self.  Nothing else really to say other than I'm eager to go get her and get my share of daily cuddles.

Two Months

Today marks my sweet girl's two month birthday!  No gifts other than two shots at the pediatrician (which out of the like 5 or 6 they normally do at the two month mark that isn't too bad).  Once again she only gained a little bit of weight (we are up to 7lbs 14oz) but she was in a different patient room and thus on a different scale, and only 1/4" taller (21 1/4").  She is in the 10th percentile on height, 5th in weight, and 15th for head.

Since our chiro appointment last week the poops have been more regular.  I can also say that the initial latch pain has been reduced tremendously.  On the pumping front I once again this morning got a bit more on the one side than I had been - I do think the supplements are helping in some ways, just not as much as I had wished and hoped, but I'll take what I can get.

Six weeks down

Well, almost six weeks anyhow.  I had my six-week appointment at the ob/gyn yesterday and all is well.  After Avery and I stopped at the pediatrician's office to use their scale.  The good news is Avery is up to 7# 12.5oz.  That isn't crazy progress, but it's progress in the right direction none the less (so up 2.5 oz in the past week and 5 days).

I'm getting more smiles but still narrowly missing capturing them on film or video.  We're also starting to create a good, healthy pattern at night which has been resulting in good sleep!  Of course, I recognize that now that I typed that everything will go out the window.

Yearning to Gain

We were back at the pediatrician today, and unfortunately - she has lost even more weight.  We're now down to 7# 6.5oz.  *sigh*  Of course, I immediately started crying.  I need her to put on weight.  We're going back again on Thursday.  I suspect if the next 48 hours aren't productive we'll be headed down a path of supplements (which is another healthy expense).  I'm pumping and feeding often - she'll guzzle the pumped milk, but sits lazily more often than not when she's on the breast.  Of course, pumping I'm not getting a huge amount either, so that sits poorly with me.

Leaving the hospital and finishing her first week

While I was discharged on Saturday, Avery had to stick around another night.  The hospital was amazing and allowed us to room in with her.  Since they weren't super busy we didn't even have to switch rooms, which meant we kept the large labor and delivery room for our entire stay.  I admit I wasn't as scared when the time came to pack up as I expected to be - but I did have butterflies.

We arrived here mid-afternoon and started trying to settle in a bit.  We've set up camp downstairs using the pack n play as her night time crib.  This way we both can see her directly from the couches where we've been sleeping.  I know we need to transition upstairs at some point soon, but we're working to get better at feeding for now.  The girls didn't really get bigger, I don't think.

She is the calmest baby, at least during the day, but at night it seems like another child emerges - one that had me wondering if sleep was a thing of the past.  Sure they say sleep when they do, but the sleep periods were so short that once I fed her, changed her, got her to wipe back out, pumped, cleaned up the supplies, I was lucky to get an hour before I had to start it all over again.

As things have moved forward I'm needing to pump less thanks to starting to get the hang of feeding, but I'm still keeping some in the fridge as backup.  I couldn't even be to this point if I hadn't taken my 4 day old baby out to the Le Leche League meeting.  I was to tears frustrated trying to get her on properly and feeling so desperate... so I went.  I left on Monday feeling like 50 lbs had been lifted from my shoulders and that there was hope.

It was no small feat as Monday was a big day.  We had her first pediatrician appointment, from there we went and picked up the dogs.  It worked out well that I then went to the Le Leche meeting as he was able to get the dogs settled back in at the house for a while before we returned.  So how are the dogs doing with her?  Well, they were a bit crazy at first.  I have to say Saf, my baby, did better than I would have guessed, and Dani ended up being weirder than I expected.  They are very interested in the baby, but doing well.  They're also sleeping with us downstairs (other than that first night) so they too are looking a little sleepy.

He returned to work on Wednesday but I was only truly alone here with her on Thursday as his parents were in since his father is doing some work here on retaining walls.  Of course with people here I didn't have a shot at sleeping when she did, so I really just started making attempts at that pattern.  I should be sleeping right now as he is out running for us and she is down, but there is so much to try and do that I often cheat myself.  I guess once I'm beyond exhausted sleep will win.

Weight has started falling off and I AM eating.  I'm sure I'll hit the wall on that too (very soon).  My belly button is starting to return to pulling back in (yay).  I also lucked out in the period department.  They kept telling me I'd likely have a very heavy period for up to 6 weeks, but it's been pretty light and dealable.

When Thursday at 3am hit we were just falling asleep.  I can't believe it's already been over a week already.

Holding on the launch sequence

My blood pressure remains good and our little one's heart rate remains in the 150s.  Today I had my first exam to find we're at 1cm, 50% effaced, and -2 station.  So really, no progress at this point.  I really need to get out and walk - but with the pressure I've been feeling I can imagine that would feel rather horrendous to get too far from the house w/o something to lean on.  Is it wrong to think that maybe walking w/ a shopping cart is a good idea... even if I don't need to be shopping?

I had a miserable night of sleep too, in part thanks to ice cream we went for around 8.  I kept tasting it through the night if my head lulled too far to the side or I was trying to sleep on either side.  Bleh.  Still not screaming and crying to be done, but I am ready to see some action if for no other reason than to avoid feeling the pressure of being late.

Baby's on fire!

Two nights ago I got the 0-6 month pacifiers sterilized and ready to go.  I know some say to not introduce the paci until you've got breastfeeding established, but I wanted to have them ready in case they are what I need to soothe... plus there is those that say using a paci helps prevent SIDS.  I was not ready to tackle all of the bottles however as more reading materials say to wait a while on those.  One thing at a time I guess.

Yesterday I had a weekly appointment.  My doula was to attend.  I hate to admit it, but I anticipated it would not happen.  Still when I got the text she wasn't coming it put me in tears.  I had to tell her we need to sever the contract, and I talked to one of the leads for their group.  She is going to see what other doula options I have, but I still don't think there is much time to build that relationship.  I'm so torn.  For the past few months I didn't think this was going to be something we were going to do alone, but I sure don't want it with a stranger either.

Last week's doctor's appointment had a slight dip down in heart rate to the 140s, but we were back in the 150s yesterday.  My group b strep results also came back negative, so yay!  No need for antibiotics in labor, which means I might be able to get them to just do a hep-lock instead of needing to drag the IV around while I labor.

Baby also had her first concert this evening!  I couldn't resist the desire to go see Die Antwoord (hence this post title).  A friend from out of town decided to join me and we headed in on the T (how incredibly convenient).  It was nice to realize there are general admission seats upstairs, which is where I ended up staying the whole time, so I still feel a-okay today, despite a little swelling my ankles had from sitting there for hours.

By the way how are we down to 19 days and counting until my due date?

First weekly appointment

We're to the weekly appointments, today being the first at 36w.  Today we did a group b strep swab, which I'll find out the results to next week.  The doctor also went through their recommendations for when to call etc etc.  The little one's heart rate remains nice and strong in the 140s.

One more boring visit and then in two weeks we start checking effacement, dilation, and station!

Last night I tried to pull everything from the Saturday shower out of the bags and get things into piles that will be easier to show to my guy.  From there we can make decisions on what is going to try and get returned if in a size we have too much of or duplicates of and then move on to washing and putting away.

He did get the car seat bases installed, but the one in my car feels awfully loose.  I've been watching some additional videos and will play around with it a bit before I make an appointment to get it inspected at the local fire station.

Appointment Scheduling wah.

My appointment went normally yesterday.  The wee one remains in the 150 range on heartbeat - doing well!  The doctor wasn't worried about the swelling (as noted, I know it's normal) or the pain I had the other night.

I do have my first complaint about this office though... now that I have to go every two weeks it is harder to get scheduled.  This time there wasn't a single appointment for 2 or 3 weeks out here in this office.  So I am scheduled to drive the whole way to the hospital location in 2 1/2 weeks *sigh*  at least they have evening hours so I won't miss as much work, but what an irritation.  She was able to then go ahead and book the next two appointments in advance to make sure I was on their schedule, so that's good at least.  Let me tell you how crazy it feels that the third appointment is August 2.  August.  My due date month.  Yikes.

I took the time to go lay down and cuddle with my guy last night as was starting to feel very necessary.  It was nice to just lay close, or at least as close as the belly would allow.  He was also so kind as to rub my feet and calves for a while, which was delightful.

Doula meet and greet

Last night we attended a meet and greet for a regional doula group in downtown Pixburgh near Magee Hospital.  I didn't _want_ to drive into the burgh on a week night but I knew it was the best way to meet a few of these ladies in person, get some more information, and to see if we found someone that would be a fit.

3 of the 6 in this group were in attendance and all three seemed quite pleasant.  2 of the 3 there had been recommended by my chiropractor by name.  We had some conversation about it on the way home and after - so this morning I reached out to the group and asked about the availability of one doula to support our birth.  It's an added expense, but I think it will be worth it.  At least it is something that can come out of pre-tax HSA dollars too.

If she is available and willing, there should be a couple of meetings with her in the next so many weeks before we ever go into labor, but that window is fairly small, so I needed to get the ball in motion.

Anatomy Scan Ultrasound

One day can offer so much to update on!  Yesterday we had both the anatomy scan ultrasound and a regular monthly appointment at the obgyn.  I'll start by saying that the tech commented that "everything was normal", but only after she had answered a question I had by saying she "wasn't allowed to give results", so for whatever that's worth.  I'm hopeful that I will get a call from the obgyn as well when they have/review all of the information to confirm the same.

I'll also throw these right here:

The tech did her work and then took a break to have me empty my bladder and move around to try and get kiddo to be a little more cooperative so she could get a few more images she needed.  At one point the tech commented about how calm she is.  I take that as a good thing - I'm keeping my stress down, yay me!  Everything we saw looked good (two arms, two legs, feet w/ toes, hands w/ fingers etc).

I will say I'm disappointed with the videos we got.  There are about 16 3-second clips on the DVD.  Sure there are a few little moments caught that are pretty cool, like when she was opening her mouth right before she then put her hand to her mouth like she was going to suck a thumb (but then it looked like she instead stuck a finger up her nose).  I guess I just expected something a little longer.

At the regular appointment a little later the heartbeat was still in a good range and no issues there (no blood draw either - yay!)  My weight is creeping up now, I will need to be a little more careful w/ my junk intake if I want to stay under the number I had in my head by the end, but I'm still in a healthy range.

We did stop at a consignment sale twice in the past week at which we managed to score a like-new boppy pillow w/ cover and a very clean pack n play w/ a changing 'tray' and mobile - both at a fraction of the new price.  There is so much STUFF for kiddo already it's crazy.  How can something so small have so much stuff that takes up so much space?!

Ob Appointment Update

I had my monthly Obgyn appointment today.  It was a bit of a wait, like an hour past my appointment time before I was taken back, so the water I had guzzled to make sure my veins were ready was already overflowed out the other side.

Today's heartbeat came in at a solid and well within typical range of 150bpm.  They needed to redo a platelet draw from last visit as something went awry there, so I was already getting stuck today.  After discussing some of the optional tests with my sweetheart I did have them add a few other items on the draw including a cystic fibrosis carrier test and a multiple test that may highlight any possible abnormalities as well as offer up gender information before the next ultrasound.  We draw the line at poking holes in the placenta at this point, but heaven knows if anything comes back abnormal we may need to rethink other tests.

Yes, they needed to try and hit both arms for the blood again today.  At least the second time was a charm.  Unbelievable given how much water I had drank before the appointment.

I also asked about the incredible back itch and had my concerns put at ease with regard to potential liver issues that show symptoms like this.

I'm still not seeing my weight jump upward, but I'm not sure what the diff was between doctor's visits.  Heaven knows clothes could alter that too.

Thump thump thump

A couple of days after the first hcg bloodwork we did another and I went from the 230k range to the 280k range.  At that point, my doctor wanted me to get an ultrasound scheduled.  Given that I am relocating very soon and eager to dispose of the ob/gyn in my current location we came to the agreement that I would scheduled my first appt with an ob/gyn out at my new location and they would get me into the local ultrasound.

This morning I went for the ultrasound still have afraid we'd see only an egg sac, or no heartbeat, or something else entirely - who knows, when I got up this morning one thing was for sure, it still wasn't 100% real.

Well lo and behold boom.  Within seconds she had this in view and seconds later a solid 167 bpm heartrate thumping away.

A few minutes and measurements later and I'm told I am at 9w 6d, which is about spot on to where I guessed based upon what I know for sure.  They also gave me a due date of August 29. I'd rather not have an August baby for a few reasons, so a couple of days late and into September would be nice.

Regardless, this right here is insanity to me but here it is.  I know we're still early, but seeing arms and legs (one of those arms was even taking little jabs), hearing a heartrate, and knowing that despite my lack of morning sickness or other tell tale signs, tells me this is for real.

Today's appt wasn't what I was hoping for - a big not recommended on the use of drugs to help ensure ovulation timing and a request to talk with one of the other doctors, a male doctor.  Now, one thing I have made it to this point in my life without is a male gynecologist and I'd like to keep it that way.  As she said though, just a talking meeting and he'd probably be okay with one of the females doing the actual IUI procedure - if I decided to do it in office.  The other alternative presented to me was something called
'the stork' which could potentially allow me to do what needs done at home, that COULD solve some of the timing issues (weekends and reducing the stress of not being able to go in when I actually ovulate).

I guess I'm going off of my pills and going to start tracking ovulation and periods.  We'll see.

This week could be the start of things again... I am sitting here attempting to create a list of questions and notes to take with me to my yearly exam on Thursday.  I am going to lay things out and if there isn't a willingness to try/do something different, I don't know if I can proceed trying again without a little more of a chance of the timing being assured.  In that case, I just don't know.

I did double check and one of the donors I had narrowed things down to remains available, at least right now he is.  If things sound hopeful I'd finish up this pack of pills and start tracking my cycles for the next few months with the intention to try in July.

Fill up that tank!

Yet another tank with a specimen is on its way to my neck of the woods as of this afternoon.  I was able to pay the difference and order the ID option donor I had selected, amusingly he is already showing as C (call) on the website, indicating there is less than 20 IUI-prep specimens currently available.

I once again called the doctor first thing in the morning to schedule the appointment, got routed to the nurse line to schedule, and waited most of the day for a return call.  At least the first choice doctor is actually in the office on Tuesday, that's when I am anticipating the next attempt, given my game plan based on my previous post.

Yearly Appointment

On Thursday I had an appointment with the gyn office. I'll suffice it to say that sincere apologies for what transpired and was missed in the translation from nurse to doctor were shared. She too ordered blood work. That's three times in one month. Again the HCG, I'm assuming looking to see it back under 5, something else I can't recall, and a test for CMV after I inquired. You see, CMV status is listed for donors, but despite 50-80% of the population being positive, I was never tested. Could it cause problems if I was negative and the donor is positive - it sounds like it. So, I guess we'll see where that comes back and go from there.

We are, at this time, planning for me to stop the pill this month (tomorrow will be my last one), waiting a month, and then using my free specimen in April. Fingers crossed that my body's timelines and things will go smoothly.