Minimal Pain?

I think I managed to avoid most of the cramps this month (which has become the norm) and the period of extreme nausea by preemptively medicating. Clearly, the midol doesn't do diddly (months past lesson learned).

Pledge Successful

I got the call yesterday that my pregnancy pledge information was processed, so I'm eligible for one free specimen. So, next round... here we go again.

Paperwork

It took about a week for my doctor's office to complete the paperwork and fax it to Fairfax. When I called them they acknowledged receipt of it, but said the person who processes those was out all week. Needless to say this month was destined to be scratched. All for the best I suppose since I'm now shifted back to weekend ovulation and just got a positive today.

Definitely not

I didn't have to wait long, I definitely have period bleeding, and the cramping that goes with it - already. This also means my body only gave me one month of peak fertility mid-week and it was at a holiday week! Back to Saturday peak OV likelihood, yay.

I wish MyMonthlyCycles gave a better overlaid calendar view, where I could see my period, the dates I had positive OV tests, and when they had anticipated the ovulation all in one.

Interesting Videos

Was pointed towards these videos from a message board and found it interesting enough to share. Check out "The Great Sperm Race" (6 parts).

Early Negatory

Today was the earliest I could test and got a negative. I'm not surprised, but I guess I'll still behave and not have the drink I really want until after my period comes.

I had Fairfax fax the paperwork to my Gyn to request a free specimen under their Pregnancy Pledge. I'll still have to pay for shipping and the actual IUI, but at least this about halves the cost of one last try. And yes, I do think it will be just one more try. It's just too expensive for this to go on and on without results.

You know, this is yet another reason why I don't buy the "accidentally pregnant" women.

Cute Hat

I so had to buy this cute as heck hat from the Totsy website today. Of course, it's blue... which inherently works for a boy-child, but frankly, if I ever end up with a little girl she'd be wearing some blue too. It's just a fact that most dog/puppy printed stuff is in blue.

And then some...

Yea, I'm still getting some clots and bleeding, it slowed down such that it's only occurring when (TMI-warning) I poop, but still... *sigh* the rest of the time I am getting a light (in color and in amount) brown bleeding. Now THAT is consistent with potential implantation bleeding, but I'd only consider that a possibility if there wasn't the clots and other, fresh blood.

Give me blood, blood, gallons of the stuff...

Had to toss a quote from My Chemical Romance in there... since the procedure I've had spurts of bleeding, which seems to be the norm for post-IUI. I could do without the clots though. I know it sounds silly, but I do wonder if the act of bleeding as such could "wash" something out. I consider myself fairly well educated, but do you think I know if that's even possible? Try searching for it on google and you can't get too many straight answers either. No, it's too early and not quite right to be "implantation bleeding", to me, it's just a sign it's not going to happen.

Today was different

My positive OV test this morning was almost a surprise. I really didn't expect it until tomorrow. Then I immediately thought, watch, the specimen won't arrive until too late in the day for me to make my 1:45 appointment, but even that worry was dashed when I saw it was delivered at 9:13.

Sure, I was nervous and anxious the first time I went and with the second and third there was a sense of anticipation, but today, my fourth round of trying felt very different. I was anxious like I don't recall even being the first time. The Midwife said the specimen looked good, so that too was a relief, since I reverted to the first donor again for this try. I also left with very little bleeding today. There was still a bit of pain, but it was on the lesser end. I do have to wonder if it is because my cervix was in a better 'state'.

So, thus begins the waiting period once again. Hmm. Wing night on Thursday and no booze. Boo.

Panic

The past few days I've had a sense of panic almost. This believe is what I want, but all of the doubts that creep in from time to time.

How can I do this on my own? That's ridiculous. I sure haven't had "my share" of dating, but so much for that if this works. There are no nights out or curling up with someone special. The dogs... how are they going to deal w/ things? Probably not well. So long to vacations. My vacation time will be for sick days. I still haven't figured out how to mention the idea much less the final product to my mother.

What am I doing? Why am I incapable of making most decisions and then so fearful and skittish of those I think I made (past tense).

Scheduled for try #4

Yesterday I got the bitchy nurse when I called to try and schedule an appointment. She gave me a hassle about scheduling and not being sure if I'll be ready. Um, I can't control that. After getting me agitated she was to call back and then didn't, so I had to call again today. I spoke with someone who, without saying so much, acknowledged that everyone knows that chic is a bit of a beotch with everyone.

The important part is however that I now have my appointment for Tuesday afternoon, providing the body cooperates, and I then called to get things shipping. I'm going with 2976 again, the donor who's one specimen was lackluster, but I'm hoping that the newer donations are more like those reported on the message boards. Of course, with Monday being a holiday they wanted me to pay more to overnight, but I figured I'd play the percentages. Chances are my Tuesday will need to become a Wednesday anyhow.

Visiting with a friend

So, I visited with a good friend who's baby is now two months old! First time I got to meet the baby, unfortunately. I really expected her to tell me things that would scare me off:
- how hard it is and tiring to have a baby
- how awful labor/birth was
etc, etc

Instead she noted that the birth itself wasn't bad, but she wasn't prepared for the labor pains and that it's hard work, but not THAT bad. The baby slept through dinner, and was perfectly peaceful, so that was comforting too.

I still need to just think that I'll try as planned this fourth time, and then I should qualify for a free specimen for the fifth try and then reassess from there. Heaven knows the financial Gods have helped line things up in the past two months to make sure that isn't a factor at this time, so let's go.

Vacation is over

I've looked at the past month and a half as vacation. Granted, there was a genuine vacation in there too, which is why I couldn't try at the beginning of August. For that matter, the lack of guaranteed work at the end of August had me worried until I returned from vacation. The good news is I am covered and confident again.

At present I have my period. It is, once again fraught with major cramps and had an odd start, which seems to be becoming my norm. The good news is it started a few days later than expected, which means for the first time in forever my ovulation should be expected during the week of September 5th, not the weekend!

On other news, my first donor, 2976, has become available in IUI once again. I guess this means I have to make a decision in the next week and a half as to which to use this round. 2976 was the preferred donor, but his sample was less than productive, and 4102 the second choice, which looks like he's starting to run low.

Negative, Negative, Negative

Still didn't get a positive OV yet this month... so I guess I could have ordered to have goodies arrive for use tomorrow or later in the week (I guess depending on when that positive happens). So should I order tomorrow for Wed? It prb wouldn't get here until Wed afternoon and couldn't be used til Tuesday, so I'm prb too late. But if I didn't get a positive tomorrow? Argh. I wish I could not think about this stuff.

I'm pretty thick, but... I hear you!

Ok, often 'signs' from a higher power seem to be so obscure and you can only see them clearly long after you missed them, right? I have to think that the praying and thinking I was doing yesterday on my drive home - as well as the 'deciding' I thought I was doing - all got an answer today.

First, it's a bit early, but I always start the OV tests a bit early. Today's failed, it had a bad result, okay, that's odd. Then I called to make an appointment for Friday and/or Monday at the gyn. My doctor is normally out Mondays, which I knew, but guess what - she's out Friday too. So is the midwife who I was hoping to schedule with as she was much less painful and created a much less bloody result. So both are out Friday and the nurse doesn't know if the other females there do IUIs. Really? I know for a fact, since one of them did my first one! But they didn't know, so no appointment Friday, but they said the midwife IS there Monday. A lot of good that does me if I am ovulating late this week and not early next week, right?

With the shipping timeline factored in I basically had to scrap this month. Next month, as previously mentioned is scrapped due to being out of town. So, where does that leave me? It sure sounds like someone is trying to tell me something. Of course, is that answer one in the same - does it mean I should be working to get the heck out of PA too?

Preparing to Order

So, tomorrow I will call and order one more specimen. That's 5 total and 4 attempts. They have a guarantee to get 1 vial free if you try 4 cycles unsuccessfully, so save for that specimen... I think I've decided to say if this doesn't work I'll be focusing my efforts to putting the house on the market and getting the heck out of PA. If I can't work on a family on my own I should embrace the desire to run away and be somewhere I have a chance of finding someone, right?

Nothing unexpected

While I was away my period came, so as expected this month is a no. Now that I am out of specimens in storage I'm not pressed to try each month. Looking at the calendar next month I won't be able to try as I won't be around, but this month I was going to put it off as to save up a few more bucks.

Given that August is nixed, I guess I should give July a try. I also need to worry about availability... my first donor is no longer available in IUI prep, and while my second donor's listing is still yes for IUI, his ICI and IVF preps are in limited quantity, which hints that the IUI probably isn't abundant. I guess those two factors mean I should try in July. I wonder if my body will cooperate.

Ovulation Achieved

Finally body. I had a positive ovulation test this evening. Amusingly after 2 weeks of tracking my resting body temp it didn't spike this morning, so how accurate is that?

Having done the IUI Monday afternoon, knowing that some (frozen) sperm can live 3 or maybe 4 days after, and that it takes anywhere from 12-36 hours after LH surge to ovulate where does that leave me? Unlikely, but, at least there is a remote chance. At least it makes it easier to turn down the alcohol at the upcoming company picnic, as if the 17 day diet I've started wasn't enough.

Try three, part B

Guess what... still no positive ovulation test this morning, but since the tank was only good to today I went ahead and did what we needed to do. The appointment was not with my normal doctor as she is in surgery on Mondays, instead with a midwife (one that several friends spoke quite highly of). I'll give her this, I did feel comfortable with her to converse immediately, and it hurt a hell of a lot less than the attempt last week and hasn't resulted in anywhere near as much blood. Then again, it could be timing related too.

She did give me some hope however in offering three days as still being the viability of frozen sperm. It gives me some hope - providing of course I ovulate this week, which if my second period in May hadn't come early, is when I would have been suppose to ovulate. So now I'll keep an eye for ovulation by Wednesday morning before I give up hope on this attempt.

Still not ovulating.

Still no positive ovulation test. I've got to go in tomorrow regardless, will it show positive tomorrow? What the heck is going on? I don't know. I'm quite at wits end, I can tell you that.

Try three, part A

I used the first specimen from 4102 today. Right before leaving for my appointment I was pleasantly surprised by a call from Fairfax stating they were refunding me for the last specimen. Considering I was expecting nothing this is great news.

The ovulation test didn't come out positive this morning, so I ended up with the doctor talking to me like I'm an idiot ("you need to ovulate for this to work you know" - repeated several times). Yes, yes, but I should be ovulating at this point and here I was with two specimens and a weekend looming. I can't win with my body, that's a fact.

After this time, which took way longer than the previous two and had several bouts of pain, I was bleeding quite a bit. IUI is not pleasant at all.

Waiting for a surge

Depending on how long my luteal phase really is I should be ovulating soon. Two specimens of 4102 are in FedEx's hands right now, and should arrive tomorrow. I've got an appointment for tomorrow afternoon, and another for Thursday afternoon, but may end up needing to shift tomorrows if the test doesn't say I am ovulating. I've also actually been taking my resting temp the past several days, hopefully I can correlate the temp spike with a positive LH surge.

Go figure that it was so early the past times, how much do you want to bet it will be late this time? The specimens shipped on Monday, so they'll be good through this coming Monday, hopefully I won't need to buy myself more time than that.

Definitely not this month

Well things have continued, so it's definitely my period... 6 days early. Can't figure out how to explain that given the ovulation test only being on the early end of the range.

Regardless, after entering the new information into mymonthlycycles it didn't shorten my average cycle calculations, much to my surprise. It does however have me needing to place my next order for next week. I think I'm doing both of 4102 for this cycle, 24 hours apart. Of course, then the question is when will I actually ovulate, right?

Bleeding Again

I started to bleed yesterday. Chances of it being implantation bleeding? Or is my period starting 6 days despite my ovulation tests popping along the timeline (granted earlier couple of days) according to the MyMonthlyCycles calendar. I think the closest to a baby I'm getting is going to be the overabundance of kids that were at the baby shower this past Saturday or in the dream I had last night of holding a baby (while driving, but hey, it was a dream).

At the mercy of this small town

I'm pretty much getting rooked over because I'm in a small town, that's what I think. I did call the doctor's office again, and risked getting another call back from the rather rude lady. Instead the doctor called me back and tried to say that she couldn't call them anyhow because it would be a HIPAA violation. So I get to wait and see if whatever they actually put into the mailed letter (how is that not a HIPAA violation) is sufficient. I called Fairfax, and providing it contains the appropriate information the letter will be acceptable to them. Somehow, I doubt it.

Frankly, this does put a nail in the coffin for my progress. If the attempt with two next month doesn't work... and/or there is concern with that sperm too, I've got to call it quits instead of pissing money away on lackluster sperm mixed with a doctor's office that doesn't live up to comparison of others level of service.

Frustration!

What a royal pain in the rear. On Friday I called and left a message (as is the standard frustration) for my doctor's office noting that Fairfax requires the office or doctor to call a specific number in order to communicate with them if something is felt to not be right with the specimen. When I went to leave I had a voice mail saying a letter was typed up for me and they asked if I were picking it up.

This morning before I could call another staff member called and seemed more than agreeable to talk with the doctor (she was in surgery all day today) and to have someone there call tomorrow. Great! Later in the day the mean voiced lady who left the message called back and asked me again if I was going to pick up the letter. Despite me pointing out that a number needed to be called and that I had spoken with someone else she rather forcefully noted that all that is required is a letter and she reiterated the question. Great. (We need a punctuation mark for the antithesis of an exclaimation mark.) So, not sure what is up.

Attempt 2, one day early

I was keeping an eye on the tracking information and my fingers crossed this morning. Imagine my delight when I saw at 9:51am that the specimen was delivered! I called and was able to get shifted to a 11am appointment this morning.

In my reading I've found various answers on timing. Most of what I saw says about 24-48 hours after the LH surge, which concurs with what my doctor's office says, but that's just the release of the egg. From there I've read you've got 12-24 hours before it is lost. Now given that my first check, on Tuesday evening read positive, as did my test Wednesday afternoon, I'd THINK that means 11am today was about the 48 hour mark or a little over. You'd think that would be the perfect time frame. I guess we'll see if/when my period comes - which I suspect will be early again this month.

Now, all sounded well, but - to my surprise - my doctor was actually there and available this morning! Around noon I'm actually in there and she comes in saying "we need to talk". She then proceeded to say she had some in a slide and there isn't much moving in there. Then she asks where I got the samples from.

Yes, all of my specimens were saying 35%-ish for motility and around 10mil counts. 35% clearly, the most rudimentary of math, isn't all of them swimming like crazy... but is that that bad as to have the doctor say that? I don't what to think exactly, but it is disheartening. I guess it only takes one.

Feeling is knowing

When you start to pay more attention to your body, you should listen to it. Yesterday I felt some slight crampy-ness and I knew darn well it is my body trying to ovulate. This morning I forgot to use a test, but took one this afternoon and yep - ovulation positive. Tuesday! and I'm scheduled for Friday. Not good. Why was everything "on time" last month when I wasn't giving it a go. Place an order for sperm delivery and boom - the body freaks. Clearly I need to order to have the stuff here earlier in the week and then put off the appointments if need be.

Next order placed

This morning I placed the second order, once again I will be trying 2976. I figure next month I'll try both samples of 4102. From there... I dunno what to think/do, but I'll play it by ear. That said, the next attempt is scheduled for May 20th.

I've also been thinking, why does it seem so socially unacceptable to approach someone that I'd consider to be a rather perfect specimen and say, look, I'll give you $500 a sample (instead of going through a middle man) and then using that for artificial insemination? Ok, maybe what I really mean is offering them one of their jerseys for each sample, but you know what I mean.

Serious Pain

In the past so many months, my period has become rather unpleasant, filled with at least two days of cramps that are worse than I've ever experienced. I can't sleep them off, midol or tylenol don't touch them, and trying to walk them off doesn't help either.

I truly wish I could be on birth control right now.

Shifting back into the mentality

Well my period started today, which is as predicted thanks to last month's body fail. That means this month will be a challenge as I'll be ovulating on the weekend again. Perhaps what I'll do is have two samples come, one for Friday and one for Monday and see how it goes. Admittedly, all of this hasn't been at the forefront of my mind lately, but that's probably a good thing.

Tomorrow is Mother's day. It hasn't escaped me that if all goes according to plan next year I could be celebrating it.

2976 has a positive.

2976's status updated to having caused a pregnancy. That's encouraging. It would have been cool to be the one to have caused that change, but so it is.

Body fail.

Well, despite starting to spot on Friday I tested this morning and got a solid negative. Today my period began, lightly. Now, here's how this is a fail - it wasn't suppose to come until Tuesday. According to the calculator that alters my average cycle to 28 days putting my next ovulation on the weekend. Go figure. 28 days, why yes, that's on the weekend every time until my body has another fail.

Now, I just booked a vacation, which runs up to the Monday where I would have been ovulating on Tuesday. Now that ovulation would occur on Saturday, Friday if I'm lucky, this month is doomed as I'll not be in town. I tried to schedule "around it" but clearly failed.

Pretest

This morning I used my first pregnancy test. According to the "best" tests, I shouldn't be able to get an accurate reading until tomorrow, but I wanted to run one test that would come back negative as a sanity check just in CASE it comes back positive. I really don't think I am. It's not a feeling in my body other than my gut talking to me, so we'll see. I do think I'll just wait until when my period should be arriving instead of testing in the next couple of days.

Answering to others

I figure I'll be sharing this a million and one times with people, so it's time to take my answers to my sister and other common questions. I may add to this as time passes, so if you see it re-appear at the top, pardon the duplication.

Comment: You never mentioned wanting kids, actually you've sounded like you loathe them.
Yup, you're right, I haven't really.

This isn't a new thought. The thoughts started even as far back as when my friends had their son, before I moved to NC, that was in 2000. I've kept my mouth shut to many for fear I'd be called a hypocrite. But when you start to realize that that desire isn't going away... at some point you have to eat crow. Through the years I've thought about it more and more.

In more recent years as I've allowed myself to date guys with kids I've seen how much they really love their kids, and recognize that yes, I might be missing out on the love of my lifetime, and it isn't in a man who may or may not show up, or may already be in my past.

Comment: What about adoption?
I was looking at adoption sites way back when I was still in NC. Many agencies do not take single parents kindly. Not only that, but many kids in need are handicapped/retarded or not white. SURE, there is always a chance that I could have a kid with problems and I don't know how I'd handle that. Then as you think on it more you just wonder what _your child_ would be like.

Comment: You know, having a kid is a lot of work, your life will change. Are you sure you can do it alone?
I don't think any thought or consideration can ever 'prepare' someone for that. I don't think it can fully prepare a couple either. But I do think it's similar to the saying offered to couples "if you wait until you think the time is right you'll never have kids".

Comment: Diapers, formula, etc is expensive.
Yes, the expenses seem daunting, but clearly, I spend money on things I don't need to spend money on.

Comment: Daycare is expensive.
Yup. But I can't see myself mooching off of society so I can stay home with the kid. Guess I'm gonna have to pay for it so I can still go to work, eh?

Comment: You won't get to take spur of the moment vacations.
Who takes "spur of the moment" trips? With three dogs, jaunting off to France for the weekend has never been an option.

Comment: What about traveling for work?
I don't think I've ever seen them force single moms to travel. Fair? I think not, as I'd rather not travel for them and pay to kennel the dogs, but it is what it is. Perhaps I'd finally not HAVE to travel.

Comment: It'll be hard to find dates if you have a baby.
LAUGHTER You might be surprised how many people have pretty much considered the divorce to be 'baggage' they won't look past - but yet, I see so many single moms without a problem finding dates (not saying this will help my dating life, I just mean I've seen people consider it less of an obstacle to getting dates than being divorced). Either way, my dating life can't get more pathetic than it already is.


My final comment...
I can at least say I'm not going the route some women do (and I've seen SO MANY do this over the years) where they try to trap some guy by "accidentally" getting prego... never mind the likelihood of that demonstrating a miserable relationship for the kid.

Expecting what to expect?

It's funny how reading from what to expect can make you paranoid. My intuition tells me I am not prego, but when you read about your sense of smell and think of at least 4 scent related items that are prominent in your mind immediately there after, it does give you pause.

I admit, the smell of my tenant's food has crunched my nose and nearly turned my stomach a couple times this week, but I think it's because I've already been nauseous in the evenings - attributed to med withdrawal. Fun times.

Feeling less than great

I'm feeling a bit off, thanks to being without my headache meds for a couple of days. Sure I had myself down to half of my normal dosage every other day... but going without has me feeling spacey. I guess it's better than the joint pains I had the last time I tried to stop taking these, no?

Try #1

I was happy to see the two little lines again this morning, so I didn't feel like I was "too late"... but my doctor was. My appointment this morning was set for 9am. I called (and got through) around 8:30, giving them plenty of time to prep the specimen, and I was there at 8:45. So why was I in the room at 9:10 hearing the nurse call around trying to local my doctor? That's a good question. Nevermind that at 9 the nurse was showing me the unfrozen spermies in the little container.

Shortly there after they came in to note that my doctor was in surgery and to ask if another doctor was okay. Ok, fine, just make sure it's a woman. So, I ended up with a midwife. In goes the speculum (no lube you know, just to make sure we don't cause issues for the spermies), shortly there after she says that my cervix is "getting away from her". Of course, I can't see down there, so I'm not sure what they employed the use of, but it must then came the owie. Wow some pressure for sure and some almost instantaneous cramping type feelings as she tried to feed the catheter in. She noted that my cervix was a bit hard and I could tell she had to struggle with it. Not pleasant.

After finishing up I got to lay and chill for a few minutes before I headed out and grabbed my new retainer bottom and then off to work. It's been a long day. I think I'll try to get to bed early tonight.

And so it begins!

I took a temp reading on Saturday and Sunday (today). There was a pretty good jump today in temp and I did a urine test which indicated I am ovulating. Go figure, EARLY based on what was calculated on my monthly cycles. But, that's okay, at least I am not going to be waiting for it to happen and worrying about the specimen's time ticking away.

I guess I'm going in tomorrow morning for my first attempt at insemination. I tried to get lots of fluids in today and even took some of the nasty mucinex.

My last weekend

Even if nothing comes of my attempts, my life will be different from this weekend on. Today the sample should have arrived at my doctor's office (hopefully, they didn't call, not that I expected them to).

I picked up some calcium supplements today and a basal thermometer. I feel a little stupid as I almost assumed it was different in terms of use than a regular thermometer. It still goes in your mouth, it just takes a reading to more significant digits. I probably should have started tracking this sooner, but I might see an increase in the near term to help my confidence in when ovulation occurs. So, tomorrow morning (first thing - that's another difference with this type of thermometer) I'll take my first reading.

In addition to the vitamins I've found myself having a salad for dinner last night, fish and corn tonight, not eating fantastically, but good by comparison to my norm. I even pulled out a bottle of water today at work in an effort to start getting my fluids as is recommended to increase my chances.

It was quite strange to leave work today knowing that the next time I walk in there I could be in the process of becoming pregnant. I say could be since the appointment is tentative based on the arrival of an LH surge.

A telephone chat with family

Well, I finally got to talk to my sister on the phone and get a real sense of how she feels. I do feel supported in this, and it was good to run through how the whole thing "works" with her.

My first sample should have shipped out today. Here we go.

Monday morning *yawn*

This afternoon I head to the orthodontist hoping to get a new lower retainer so my teeth don't go completely out of whack should I end up prego. To think that next Monday I'll be crawling out of bed and getting ready to head to the doctor for my first try is a bit boggling.

I did get my sister's thoughts back on the situation. They have pledged their support but are being rational and laying things out. I guess when others say their family and people they tell are supportive they just neglect to mention the "are you sure about this" talk that comes with it. If not, my family is just way more practical than most.

Order placed!

I did it. Today I ordered 4 units, 2 of 2976 and 2 of 4102. The first of 2976 will be shipped next week in time to be there for my Monday the 28th appt.

And then there were three...

I've got it narrowed down to three donors from Fairfax. One has been on my short list since near day one, he loves hockey, is in engineering, and has a nice mix of Polish-Irish-French and German-Swedish. He's also produced if ya get what I'm saying.

The other two have not, and have been in the program since last spring this time. Not sure what to think about that. Sure, you don't know how many units were sold and used (properly), or how healthy/viable the women were that selected them, etc etc.

The first is an ID donor, which I originally held high on my selection list. This guy has a CS degree and would offer me the greatest chance of blue eyes too. The last one has the most adorable baby picture and a truly solid (albeit young) looking adult silhouette.

Haven't heard anything else from the niece and sister. Nervous to hear back... but at the same time I need to make some moves in the very near term. I officially am scheduled for Monday, March 28 and providing I'm ovulating and can get the selected merchandise there on time we'll try. I can't even tell you how strange it is to think that.

Lectured by a 17 year old.

Seriously - I should not feel like the kid when discussing matters with my niecey-poo. Eesh. Tonight she pops on and tells me how we have to tell my sister. With her encouragement I allowed her to share the information.

She did prior to this reiterate some of her concerns, backing off of the not married aspect and pointed out some things I'd have to give up. I know kid, I know - but I appreciate your wisdom. I titled this entry lightly, she didn't lecture, it wasn't negative. I do appreciate her offering any and all insight, because I know she does it out of love.

Next period started today, so I have about a week before I'll have to order something if there will be an attempt this cycle. Not sure how that will flesh out. I still have quite a few donor interviews to listen to. Many have been weeded out, I just hope that the ones I find most appealing aren't weeded out by lack of availability in the mean time.

Photos, interviews, and dismay

I've pulled quite a few photos at this point. I am pleasantly surprised that most of the ones already in my favorites list don't look like mutant children. Tonight I think I'll listen to some audio interviews.

Last night I made the first step in telling my niecey-poo what I've been thinking about doing. I admit, I really expected her to be all gung-ho on the idea and one of my biggest supporters. I was rather surprised and puzzled to get the opposite reaction. I know I'm not married and that my job isn't secure. No job is ever really secure, but I can't alter her argument on marriage. I'm not, but I also can't get her to understand how unlikely that feels at 35. If she didn't take it well, I fear how my sister or mom will take the idea. Her insight is that it wouldn't go well with either.

More checkboxes complete!

I also hit the dentist and got that out of the way, nothing remarkable to say there other than that it is done.

Today I faxed my information to Fairfax Cryobank and signed up for three months of access to everything on their site with the exception of adult photos and Keirsey tests, so let the hunt truly begin!

My doctor's office called back saying I could try as soon as three weeks from now, providing my ovulation wouldn't fall on a weekend, and that they would be willing to do two inseminations per ovulation. Talk about things seeming immanent.

So says the PCP

Today I had an appointment with my primary care physician. I've done some research on my own that had a wealth of conflict on the concerns associated with Effexor. Hopefully I won't end up with a constant headache as a result, but we're going to ween me down and off - I really hope I won't be achy this time.

I got to ask my questions and know that I need to axe my allergy meds too. Need to ask them about the weekly shots when I go in. Also got myself a tetanus shot today. Fun, fun.

I was worrying as the timelines said I should have peaked ovulation yesterday (keeping in mind that last month the tests registered ovulation the day before and the day of that peak). It was a short worry however, as the test registered today. I suspect there will be lots of mini-frustrations and worries about how my body is functioning as things progress.

Feeling blah, starting prenatals, and planning

I'm not feeling great today and I didn't take a prenatal last night. It feels a little like cramps, but different and more persistent. What on earth is this body trying to say? I did take the first prenatal tonight however, so we'll see if I feel bad tomorrow too. If so, I can blame it on whatever my issue was today and not the prenatal so I don't get a mental issue with the prenatals.

My copy of What to Expect when you're Expecting arrived today too, so I have something to read since it covers some of the preliminary things you should consider and do.

I also discovered last night that Cryogenics Lab, which was bought by Fairfax Cryobank, lets you see photos etc for free! So, that's kind of cool, I can "shop" there and put off purchasing access for a little while longer. I know already I need to get on the obgyn's calendar and I need to hit the dentist, so I've got some things to get out of the way in the near term.

Another apprehension

Sunday nights I refill my daily pill holder. This week, now that a cycle is over, will start me on prenatal vitamins on Tuesday. I'm a bit nervous about them as I've heard people complain about nightmares and other odd things occurring after they started prenatals. I guess time will tell.

Planning around a vacation?

Ok, they say if you wait until everything is perfect to have a kid you'll never do it, but... but...

There are some factors at play here. While I was away at my sister's over Christmas we realized that my sister was 18 when I was born and I was 18 when my niece was born. Well, guess who turns 18 next February? C'mon, how cool would it be for my plans to play out that she's 18 at the time?

The complication comes from the desire to go on this one awesome cruise. I've been planning on canceling my Alaska cruise that was slated for this August. That was originally a barrier as you cannot be more than 6 months prego when you cruise w/ RC. So, I could have easily started right about now trying to get prego, but would want to wail til May-ish to align w/ my niece's 18th birthday. With that cruise coming off the plate I am seriously desiring one that is in Sept 2012. Now, the kids daycare on board is for at least 6 month olds. Following me?

So, when are good times to manually do the deed?
To happen when niecey-poo is 18: May 1, 2011 - April 15, 2012
To not be past 6 mths prego or under 6 months post for the Sept 2012 cruise:
before June 1, 2011 or after April 1, 2012

That gives me one try in May if I want to do it this year. No pressure to decide, is it? *bites lip*

Day three - indeed?

Well, it's two days prior to when the website suggests I should be ovulating, but I do believe this morning's test was positive. Of course, I'm the first person to laugh at someone who can't read a simple test like this, so I should just say "yes" I ovulated. Next question is how many days will it register as such?

One girl, one cup... and way less gross.

So I peed in my first of God knows how many cups today. I've been tracking my periods with MyMonthlyCycles.com and they said anywhere from today to Wednesday with Tuesday being the most likely. So pee, a cup, and a stick will be my friends for a few days. Admittedly, it's a bit interesting.

Last weekend

So this is the last weekend without tests and whatnot. I just thought of that, so I figured I'd mention it. Next weekend I'll start using the ovulation tests to make sure that is taking place.

After my next period I figure I will start the prenatals (since they finally arrived). Let me tell you, they look rather large and smell like a pill for the dogs.

I was going to order the "What to expect when you're expecting" book (seems like the status quo for reading, but I can't find the overstock gift card I KNOW is around here somewhere.

Ultrasound - not how I ever imagined it

Headed in once again this morning, today for an ultrasound. Now, if you're like me you're imagining the one you see on TV. Well, if I had read the paperwork they gave me before I was waiting for my appointment I would have known I was instead getting a transvaginal sonography. Yep, it's what it sounds like. At least it wasn't as uncomfortable as a normal yearly exam.

I also got to talk to the nurse and got my test results from last week back. All looked good yadda yadda, and most importantly to ME is that I now know my blood type, which is A+. They didn't say if I was Rh- or Rh+, but I'm betting + since that is the norm. At least I have one more factor by which to shop donors with.

Prenatals and Ovulation Tests Ordered

It seems committing in some strange way.  After carefully assessing multiple types of prenatal vitamins and comparing them against the recommendations spelled out on WebMD (how geeky is that) I went with the Prenatal One Multivitamin by Rainbow Light

Recommended Amounts
400 mcg of folic acid
400 IU of vitamin D
200 to 300 mg of calcium
70 mg of vitamin C
3 mg of thiamine
2 mg of riboflavin
20 mg of niacine
6 mcg of vitamin B12
10 mg of vitamin E
15 mg of zinc
17 mg of iron

Rainbow Light Prenatal One Multivitamin


Long story short everything is met, plus it's double on folic acid, above the recommended on vitamin C, B12, E, and Iron - and it didn't seem to have as many complaints by people getting sick from the vitamins.

The tougher selection was on ovulation tests. How many do I need? Does it matter what brand? I ended up buying a combo pack of 25 ovulation prediction strips with 10 pregnancy test strips - I figure I'm likely to need that in the future too. It seemed so wasteful to get a big box of these big plastic contraptions, so I ended up buying these sticks. I guess I'll need to get some little disposable cups though, as they need dipped. We'll see how that goes.

First Doctor Appointment

It's a new year and the first new step came about... today I had my first doctor's appointment, meeting my new gynocologist, talking to her about my intentions, and, yes - heading to get blood drawn as the next first step.

Go figure I had to go to a blood draw office where I knew someone, and yes, she is the one that checked me in, so I got to shock someone else with this "news".  7 vials of blood and several hours later I finally got to head to work.  Even if I don't go all the way with this I'll know what my blood type is.

The other first steps I need to start up on is tracking my ovulation, taking prenatals, and taking some folic acid.  My next appointment is set for Thursday the 13th, and we'll do a sonogram.  Talk about a seeming whirlwind.