Feeling less than great

I'm feeling a bit off, thanks to being without my headache meds for a couple of days. Sure I had myself down to half of my normal dosage every other day... but going without has me feeling spacey. I guess it's better than the joint pains I had the last time I tried to stop taking these, no?

Try #1

I was happy to see the two little lines again this morning, so I didn't feel like I was "too late"... but my doctor was. My appointment this morning was set for 9am. I called (and got through) around 8:30, giving them plenty of time to prep the specimen, and I was there at 8:45. So why was I in the room at 9:10 hearing the nurse call around trying to local my doctor? That's a good question. Nevermind that at 9 the nurse was showing me the unfrozen spermies in the little container.

Shortly there after they came in to note that my doctor was in surgery and to ask if another doctor was okay. Ok, fine, just make sure it's a woman. So, I ended up with a midwife. In goes the speculum (no lube you know, just to make sure we don't cause issues for the spermies), shortly there after she says that my cervix is "getting away from her". Of course, I can't see down there, so I'm not sure what they employed the use of, but it must then came the owie. Wow some pressure for sure and some almost instantaneous cramping type feelings as she tried to feed the catheter in. She noted that my cervix was a bit hard and I could tell she had to struggle with it. Not pleasant.

After finishing up I got to lay and chill for a few minutes before I headed out and grabbed my new retainer bottom and then off to work. It's been a long day. I think I'll try to get to bed early tonight.

And so it begins!

I took a temp reading on Saturday and Sunday (today). There was a pretty good jump today in temp and I did a urine test which indicated I am ovulating. Go figure, EARLY based on what was calculated on my monthly cycles. But, that's okay, at least I am not going to be waiting for it to happen and worrying about the specimen's time ticking away.

I guess I'm going in tomorrow morning for my first attempt at insemination. I tried to get lots of fluids in today and even took some of the nasty mucinex.

My last weekend

Even if nothing comes of my attempts, my life will be different from this weekend on. Today the sample should have arrived at my doctor's office (hopefully, they didn't call, not that I expected them to).

I picked up some calcium supplements today and a basal thermometer. I feel a little stupid as I almost assumed it was different in terms of use than a regular thermometer. It still goes in your mouth, it just takes a reading to more significant digits. I probably should have started tracking this sooner, but I might see an increase in the near term to help my confidence in when ovulation occurs. So, tomorrow morning (first thing - that's another difference with this type of thermometer) I'll take my first reading.

In addition to the vitamins I've found myself having a salad for dinner last night, fish and corn tonight, not eating fantastically, but good by comparison to my norm. I even pulled out a bottle of water today at work in an effort to start getting my fluids as is recommended to increase my chances.

It was quite strange to leave work today knowing that the next time I walk in there I could be in the process of becoming pregnant. I say could be since the appointment is tentative based on the arrival of an LH surge.

A telephone chat with family

Well, I finally got to talk to my sister on the phone and get a real sense of how she feels. I do feel supported in this, and it was good to run through how the whole thing "works" with her.

My first sample should have shipped out today. Here we go.

Monday morning *yawn*

This afternoon I head to the orthodontist hoping to get a new lower retainer so my teeth don't go completely out of whack should I end up prego. To think that next Monday I'll be crawling out of bed and getting ready to head to the doctor for my first try is a bit boggling.

I did get my sister's thoughts back on the situation. They have pledged their support but are being rational and laying things out. I guess when others say their family and people they tell are supportive they just neglect to mention the "are you sure about this" talk that comes with it. If not, my family is just way more practical than most.

Order placed!

I did it. Today I ordered 4 units, 2 of 2976 and 2 of 4102. The first of 2976 will be shipped next week in time to be there for my Monday the 28th appt.

And then there were three...

I've got it narrowed down to three donors from Fairfax. One has been on my short list since near day one, he loves hockey, is in engineering, and has a nice mix of Polish-Irish-French and German-Swedish. He's also produced if ya get what I'm saying.

The other two have not, and have been in the program since last spring this time. Not sure what to think about that. Sure, you don't know how many units were sold and used (properly), or how healthy/viable the women were that selected them, etc etc.

The first is an ID donor, which I originally held high on my selection list. This guy has a CS degree and would offer me the greatest chance of blue eyes too. The last one has the most adorable baby picture and a truly solid (albeit young) looking adult silhouette.

Haven't heard anything else from the niece and sister. Nervous to hear back... but at the same time I need to make some moves in the very near term. I officially am scheduled for Monday, March 28 and providing I'm ovulating and can get the selected merchandise there on time we'll try. I can't even tell you how strange it is to think that.

Lectured by a 17 year old.

Seriously - I should not feel like the kid when discussing matters with my niecey-poo. Eesh. Tonight she pops on and tells me how we have to tell my sister. With her encouragement I allowed her to share the information.

She did prior to this reiterate some of her concerns, backing off of the not married aspect and pointed out some things I'd have to give up. I know kid, I know - but I appreciate your wisdom. I titled this entry lightly, she didn't lecture, it wasn't negative. I do appreciate her offering any and all insight, because I know she does it out of love.

Next period started today, so I have about a week before I'll have to order something if there will be an attempt this cycle. Not sure how that will flesh out. I still have quite a few donor interviews to listen to. Many have been weeded out, I just hope that the ones I find most appealing aren't weeded out by lack of availability in the mean time.

Photos, interviews, and dismay

I've pulled quite a few photos at this point. I am pleasantly surprised that most of the ones already in my favorites list don't look like mutant children. Tonight I think I'll listen to some audio interviews.

Last night I made the first step in telling my niecey-poo what I've been thinking about doing. I admit, I really expected her to be all gung-ho on the idea and one of my biggest supporters. I was rather surprised and puzzled to get the opposite reaction. I know I'm not married and that my job isn't secure. No job is ever really secure, but I can't alter her argument on marriage. I'm not, but I also can't get her to understand how unlikely that feels at 35. If she didn't take it well, I fear how my sister or mom will take the idea. Her insight is that it wouldn't go well with either.

More checkboxes complete!

I also hit the dentist and got that out of the way, nothing remarkable to say there other than that it is done.

Today I faxed my information to Fairfax Cryobank and signed up for three months of access to everything on their site with the exception of adult photos and Keirsey tests, so let the hunt truly begin!

My doctor's office called back saying I could try as soon as three weeks from now, providing my ovulation wouldn't fall on a weekend, and that they would be willing to do two inseminations per ovulation. Talk about things seeming immanent.

So says the PCP

Today I had an appointment with my primary care physician. I've done some research on my own that had a wealth of conflict on the concerns associated with Effexor. Hopefully I won't end up with a constant headache as a result, but we're going to ween me down and off - I really hope I won't be achy this time.

I got to ask my questions and know that I need to axe my allergy meds too. Need to ask them about the weekly shots when I go in. Also got myself a tetanus shot today. Fun, fun.

I was worrying as the timelines said I should have peaked ovulation yesterday (keeping in mind that last month the tests registered ovulation the day before and the day of that peak). It was a short worry however, as the test registered today. I suspect there will be lots of mini-frustrations and worries about how my body is functioning as things progress.