Irrational Emotions

I'm so blessed, yet here I am with all kinds of irrational emotions running amok.  I'm worrying about the sickness that is just finishing up here at our place, will Avery catch something again right away... and how Avery has been snotty since she got her first cold at Thanksgiving, is there something bigger wrong?  Which then gets me thinking about when she was born and wasn't breathing well but instead grunting.  This makes me want to cry because how easily she could have had even more serious issues or not gotten well - and there I was so wiped and mentally out of it that I didn't even process it as fear and horror, which was good for my state at the time, but you better believe I feel guilty for not being worried at a level that was reasonable for her state.

My brain has periodically considered how horrible it would be to be in a car accident with her onboard since she arrived.  I'm sure that fear is normal, but where are they springing up from?  I can't help but then also think about the friend's sister who lost her wee one before six months.  How quickly and unexpectedly things could change.

I guess I've cast these fears out in the past with prayer and I need to get back on that train of thought - specifically, "she is in Your hands", but I also need to pray for strength for the next 18+ years.  Whew.

Ups and Downs

Avery did well all weekend after we got through Friday with the exception of last night, which I'll blame on an overfeed.  Her poops however still smell like she has expelled a demon.  Needless to say, this is on the "to discuss" list for her next pediatrician appointment, as from what I've read they shouldn't be that bad.

We sat out on the get togethers on Saturday, but did power on for Sunday (Christmas Eve) and his parents came here on Christmas day, so we still had lots of visiting.  We also had a crazy amount of gift opening!  I've said it before and I'll say it again, what on earth am I supposed to do with all of this stuff for this little girl?  We even have a lot of books.  I need to get those sorted again (the more mature ones are stored downstairs for now and the others are upstairs), but I need to also get them more handy so we can start reading to her more regularly.

I need a better routine with her (including the reading time).  There are too many days when I realize (after she's fallen asleep) that I didn't wash her face (and I'm not going to put a wet wash cloth on a sleeping baby).  I guess it's hard to label something routine as there are so many variables.  Today we woke and were ready super early - but on another day that same set of tasks can have me running late.

I also want to post about watching her swinging a candy cane around.  It was the most adorable thing.  I snagged some video and photos, but it isn't quite the same as being there.  She just immediately started swinging it back and forth like she was getting a workout.

Rest and recouperation

It is true.  Daycare called just after noon as Avery had thrown up two more times.  I brought her home and we've been trying to get her rested up with smaller feedings.  There was one more throw up after I went to bed last night.  Today she seems a lot more like herself, but I'm still taking it easy with the food.

As a result, her Daddy headed off by himself today to two of the holiday get togethers.  We will stay here and continue our rest and sip strategy. Of course, I started a slightly sore throat and headache last night - so I'm hoping I won't be out of tomorrow's get together as well.

Merry Sickmas

Poor Avery is still so stuffy and mucusy that she's killing my ability to sleep.  I understand fully why when I was older my Mom would come in in the middle of the night yelling at me to "blow my d*mn nose".

I do fear she is sick again (the first cold struck leading into Thanksgiving weekend and here we are again right before Christmas).  Of course, we never cleared up from Thanksgiving.  Last night she wasn't eating with vigor, nor this morning.  This morning she got 2 ounces in when I decided to give up as we were already running late, and then she threw it up requiring a clothing change and all.

Captain, she's breaking up!

We've shifted to size 1 diapers.  We tried to use up all of the newborns, but had a couple left before they were simply too tight. Unfortunately, size 1 seems to be fraught with epic blow outs.  Why isn't there a size in between?  I've got several pairs of pants upstairs waiting to be washed that came home from daycare and a onesie from last night that took a beating.  Ugh.

The other struggle we're having right now is with mucus and snot.  She isn't sick, but she never shook the snot/boogers and congestion from her first cold.  I guess it's a blessing in one way, as mucus can prevent a cold from getting in there, but right now it also seems to be preventing air around 4am.  Poor girl, and she sure doesn't like the snot sucker or the bulb syringe.

On the development front, she is more able/content to lift her upper body when down for tummy time.  She also holds a good bit of her own weight if you hold her loosely in a standing position.  She is enjoying time on her play mat grabbing at the plastic toys, but she hasn't started grabbing for hand held rattles and whatnot just yet.

Ready for Santa

This weekend we had appointments at South Hills Village.  First stop was Santa Claus.  We had a reservation so we could walk straight up, avoiding the line.  Avery didn't take long to tell (and show) him what a good girl she is.  She grabbed ahold of his finger and smiled gleefully for her photo.  I'm glad I got a little snippet of video as he kissed that little hand holding his.

Then we went for a regular photo session.  More insanely cute photos were had.  She remained a happy girl long enough for us to get them before she let us know she was ready to nap.  Great family pics too.  There's something so radiant about her, that Avery makes me look gorgeous too.

Starting Christmas Memories Now

We purchased the artificial Christmas tree that Avery will grow up with!  I guess in my head I someday see her looking at the tree, rolling her eyes, and asking if we can get a real one or a new one.  Then someday years later wanting to have the tree because it's the one she knew all those years.  Maybe I'm too nostalgic and sentimental.  I also have a tree skirt and new personalized stockings on the way.

I'm really hoping the stockings get here this week.  We have her Christmas photos on Saturday, I'd love (if she fits) to put her in her stocking for one of them.  Once I get those done it'll be rush rush rush to print photos and stuff them in family Christmas cards so those can go out.

A few other things of note:  we are now making more tones when we coo.  She also has a much more robust and angry cry she deploys at points.  Wheew.  Yesterday was rough until she crashed out for an afternoon nap.  On Saturday, as we sat on the bed for a little while I turned on Alton Brown.  She immediately craned her head to try and look at the TV.  When I turned her body so she could see the TV she stared intently with a big smile on her face.  I think we might have a foodie on our hands.  At least she has good taste!  She also watches us a little differently than she did when we are eating in front of her.  I think she'll be wanting what we have pretty fast.

She must not like that outfit

Avery has not, to this point, been much for spitting up after she eats.  This has been a wonderful blessing.  This morning just didn't go my way.  I was up 15 minutes earlier than normal - high on the fact that she slept the whole way through the night!  I took my time feeding her and then burped her.  Mid-burp she pooped.  Since she didn't go yesterday at daycare she was overdue, but it's rare to get one in the morning.  Fine, open the outfit back up and change the diaper.

Time to leave so I put her down in the car seat and she spits up a little on herself.  Ok, back upstairs and change the outfit.  I put her into the cute onesie with the silver heart on it - the outfit she was in right before Thanksgiving and puked up good at daycare first thing in the morning.  Back down stairs and further into the car seat and she spits up once again - this time getting the strap and snap/buckle.  I guess she doesn't like the onesie with the silver heart?  Back upstairs and it was time to employ some help to get both her changed and the car seat cleaned up because at this point I'm now running behind.  So, sorry Daddy, but you gotta get out of bed.

I admit I wanted to have a toddler tantrum.  No fair!  On a serious note, I do hope this isn't a new trend or shift in typical.  I was so happy she wasn't a spit up kind of girl.  Maybe I didn't get enough out when I burped her.