Negative, Negative, Negative

Still didn't get a positive OV yet this month... so I guess I could have ordered to have goodies arrive for use tomorrow or later in the week (I guess depending on when that positive happens). So should I order tomorrow for Wed? It prb wouldn't get here until Wed afternoon and couldn't be used til Tuesday, so I'm prb too late. But if I didn't get a positive tomorrow? Argh. I wish I could not think about this stuff.

I'm pretty thick, but... I hear you!

Ok, often 'signs' from a higher power seem to be so obscure and you can only see them clearly long after you missed them, right? I have to think that the praying and thinking I was doing yesterday on my drive home - as well as the 'deciding' I thought I was doing - all got an answer today.

First, it's a bit early, but I always start the OV tests a bit early. Today's failed, it had a bad result, okay, that's odd. Then I called to make an appointment for Friday and/or Monday at the gyn. My doctor is normally out Mondays, which I knew, but guess what - she's out Friday too. So is the midwife who I was hoping to schedule with as she was much less painful and created a much less bloody result. So both are out Friday and the nurse doesn't know if the other females there do IUIs. Really? I know for a fact, since one of them did my first one! But they didn't know, so no appointment Friday, but they said the midwife IS there Monday. A lot of good that does me if I am ovulating late this week and not early next week, right?

With the shipping timeline factored in I basically had to scrap this month. Next month, as previously mentioned is scrapped due to being out of town. So, where does that leave me? It sure sounds like someone is trying to tell me something. Of course, is that answer one in the same - does it mean I should be working to get the heck out of PA too?

Preparing to Order

So, tomorrow I will call and order one more specimen. That's 5 total and 4 attempts. They have a guarantee to get 1 vial free if you try 4 cycles unsuccessfully, so save for that specimen... I think I've decided to say if this doesn't work I'll be focusing my efforts to putting the house on the market and getting the heck out of PA. If I can't work on a family on my own I should embrace the desire to run away and be somewhere I have a chance of finding someone, right?

Nothing unexpected

While I was away my period came, so as expected this month is a no. Now that I am out of specimens in storage I'm not pressed to try each month. Looking at the calendar next month I won't be able to try as I won't be around, but this month I was going to put it off as to save up a few more bucks.

Given that August is nixed, I guess I should give July a try. I also need to worry about availability... my first donor is no longer available in IUI prep, and while my second donor's listing is still yes for IUI, his ICI and IVF preps are in limited quantity, which hints that the IUI probably isn't abundant. I guess those two factors mean I should try in July. I wonder if my body will cooperate.