Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Doubt and reassurance?

I have been quiet lately because I'm starting to think that perhaps the cart is in front of the horse with  my desires.  After all, work is questionable in the near term and to move elsewhere and get another job in the early months of a pregnancy or in the midst of trying to get pregnant seems less than ideal.

Tonight I hung out with a friend and her 4 year old daughter.  The cute things she did and the hugs I got tore my draw in the opposite direction.  I've always thought I'd be a-okay after the fluid-soaked years were over, so that isn't a surprise.  I've gawked at adoption sites for what, 9 years now, off and on.  Is that so wrong for me to consider?