Full Steam Ahead!

This year has been charging forward quickly.  The second round of developmental swimming classes is well underway.  We continue to go to jiu jitsu and muay thai.  At jiu jitsu she recently got her first red stripe on her white belt and then tested for a new belt.  Much to my surprise she was presented a gray with white stripe belt last night.  She also was invited to join in the advanced striking (muay thai) class and went to the first of that last night.

We're getting ready for her first confession at the end of the month in preparation for her first communion.

To my shock last night she asked if I knew what a "first period" was.  Oh no.  My heart sank.  Turns out a girl in the other second grade class got hers.  I feel so bad for her, that's so young, ugh.  I did my best to explain to girl and answer her current questions.  We watched a couple of videos too.  Hopefully it's a few years off for my gal.

Reset the counter

Later this month would have been one full year without a period. Instead, today I started spotting.  Very funny mother nature, well played.  I feel like I need to flip the sign at a work site saying how many days since there was an injury.

Big girl, big potty

Periodically Avery prefers the big potty.  Tonight after saying she pooped and had not she opted for the big potty.  I heard a couple of toots while she peeped, so I encouraged her to sit longer and was rewarded with her first poop on the big potty! We were both very excited.

On a personal front, the full moon and friday the 13th had enough pull to wake my body for the first time in 6 months and I am actually having another period.  I felt discomfort the other day and have been bloated for a week, but didn't suspect a thing.  Man, bleh.  It is such a mixed feeling.  To have one makes me feel less old but the discomforts aren't fun.

Something not about her

So this post isn't all about me I'll note that we've added cherries and corn to our food repertoire!

It's time I post something about me and how my body is doing post-baby.  The hair falling out has slowed down, thank goodness.  I'll be getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow in the hopes that I'll feel more human.  All I've been doing is pulling my hair back all the time which leaves me feeling like a frumpy mess.  I guess the fact that I still need to get on top of loosing more weight doesn't help there either.  When the weather gets consistent it will be so much easier to at least get some walks in, since Avery does seem to enjoy a post daycare stroll.

I guess the biggest thing about how I'm physically doing since baby is probably the biggest TMI.  You've been warned to click away now, should you choose.  My period first returned in January and waited until early March to come back, but then it reappeared a few days ago (that's two in March).  So it looks like I'm going to be wacky again.  I'm starting to think one ovary mis-fires.  I wonder if I tracked every other month if that has a more distinct pattern.

Regardless, the other change of note here is the lack of coverage when trying to use products to deal with said period.  Let's be blunt - things are different down there.  As a result, I'm having some leaking around tampons and such.  I know it will get better, but no one talks about it.  The other factor is - today I can't always drop everything and run into the bathroom like I could in the days before I'm often feeding/holding/rocking/burping/entertaining a baby.

I could do without for another year

I am reminded of the scene in Sixteen Candles where Sam's sister is about to be married and the mother says something to the effect of "I don't want to tell the whole church she has her period!"  Well guess what "church".  I had some pain a little while back, I guess that was ovulation, because it's definitely back.  I had some spotting once before too, but not something I'd call a real period.

This coincides with another drop in production - I'm getting so very little milk that I do think it's time to all but stop.  I will try to nurse her in the morning when we get up and maybe pump once during the day for now to see how long that lasts.

I'm sad about it, I've been sad that I haven't been able to make that the primary method for a while now.  There is this huge feeling of not being able to go back too.  I'm trying to focus on how much of a time savings it will be.  If we're up early in the morning it will be hanging out with Avery not feeding feeding feeding.  I won't need to be topless and freezing at multiple points during the day.

Leaving the hospital and finishing her first week

While I was discharged on Saturday, Avery had to stick around another night.  The hospital was amazing and allowed us to room in with her.  Since they weren't super busy we didn't even have to switch rooms, which meant we kept the large labor and delivery room for our entire stay.  I admit I wasn't as scared when the time came to pack up as I expected to be - but I did have butterflies.

We arrived here mid-afternoon and started trying to settle in a bit.  We've set up camp downstairs using the pack n play as her night time crib.  This way we both can see her directly from the couches where we've been sleeping.  I know we need to transition upstairs at some point soon, but we're working to get better at feeding for now.  The girls didn't really get bigger, I don't think.

She is the calmest baby, at least during the day, but at night it seems like another child emerges - one that had me wondering if sleep was a thing of the past.  Sure they say sleep when they do, but the sleep periods were so short that once I fed her, changed her, got her to wipe back out, pumped, cleaned up the supplies, I was lucky to get an hour before I had to start it all over again.

As things have moved forward I'm needing to pump less thanks to starting to get the hang of feeding, but I'm still keeping some in the fridge as backup.  I couldn't even be to this point if I hadn't taken my 4 day old baby out to the Le Leche League meeting.  I was to tears frustrated trying to get her on properly and feeling so desperate... so I went.  I left on Monday feeling like 50 lbs had been lifted from my shoulders and that there was hope.

It was no small feat as Monday was a big day.  We had her first pediatrician appointment, from there we went and picked up the dogs.  It worked out well that I then went to the Le Leche meeting as he was able to get the dogs settled back in at the house for a while before we returned.  So how are the dogs doing with her?  Well, they were a bit crazy at first.  I have to say Saf, my baby, did better than I would have guessed, and Dani ended up being weirder than I expected.  They are very interested in the baby, but doing well.  They're also sleeping with us downstairs (other than that first night) so they too are looking a little sleepy.

He returned to work on Wednesday but I was only truly alone here with her on Thursday as his parents were in since his father is doing some work here on retaining walls.  Of course with people here I didn't have a shot at sleeping when she did, so I really just started making attempts at that pattern.  I should be sleeping right now as he is out running for us and she is down, but there is so much to try and do that I often cheat myself.  I guess once I'm beyond exhausted sleep will win.

Weight has started falling off and I AM eating.  I'm sure I'll hit the wall on that too (very soon).  My belly button is starting to return to pulling back in (yay).  I also lucked out in the period department.  They kept telling me I'd likely have a very heavy period for up to 6 weeks, but it's been pretty light and dealable.

When Thursday at 3am hit we were just falling asleep.  I can't believe it's already been over a week already.

My body hates the idea of this so much that it even hosed up my period this month just because I went to talk to the doctor about it... I swear that's what it has to be.  Keep in mind I've been on birth control.  Yes, I planned on my pill Saturday night being my last one, but this cycle was using the pill, so I should start bleeding Wednesday, as I have for months and months while on the pill.  Um, no, I had a blob of blood this afternoon as I left work.  WTH.

Still going.

Yep, still going.  A great way to celebrate getting another year older tomorrow too.

I called the gyn office on Monday and they called in orders for blood work - thyroid and prolactin levels, both of which came back normal.  I found that out by calling the next day to ask for my results.  So I asked "what do we do next", which seemed to throw the nurse that the test didn't tell me all was fine.  I've been waiting since for another call back, which she said she'd give me after talking to the doctor to see what we should do next.  Have I mentioned how much I hate this office and how much they seem to dismiss and let their patients fall through cracks?

Up until today I didn't have cramps and it was pretty darn light, to the point that sometimes it would stop, I'd not get something from bathroom trip to the next or when wiping and then have a gush that came through my shorts before I could get out of the house and past the neighbors in an attempt to go on a walk.  Today I started to get slightly crampy.  What does it mean, what is wrong with me, and why doesn't anyone care?

Even more chaotic.

With work being tentative at best after less than a month I am wondering if more things don't happen for a reason than we realize.  I could have easily been, what - 6 months prego - if I hadn't had a miscarriage and ready to lose my job.  Who hires someone that would be off within 3 months?  No one, that's who.  I guess I'm lucky in that respect.

My crazy periods haven't stopped either.  Here's what I've dealt with since April.  The pink days indicate when I've been bleeding.  Looks like fun, doesn't it?  Best part is seeing how I bled as I left for vacation last month AND as I came back from it.

All over the place

As mentioned in my previous post, I ended up early in May having a period that started on the 7th.  Based on that I should have had my next period on the 1st.  I took an ovulation test and had a positive when it was expected, so I was expecting a period on the 1st-ish.  Since then I ended up bleeding, lightly, for three days starting on the 25th.  Today, June 3, I am again starting to spot, which is probably the result of the positive OV earlier in May.  But seriously - and extra half period?

Definitely Not

My period was a full 6 days earlier than it should have been.  That in and of itself is a negative in my mind, but I DID think about the fact that the miscarriage a few months ago hadn't been preceded by a single missed period. I was going to drop it until someone else mentioned the very same thing.  So, today, post-period, I decided to go ahead and use a pregnancy test anyhow (today is when I SHOULD have gotten my period).  So, definitely have a negative test.  This one, unlike so many OV tests was quite clearly negative too.

So, as early as I went, in theory I could try again this month, as I wouldn't/shouldn't land near the holiday, but my OV is still looking to be around a weekend, so I probably should just let it go.  I can at least say thanks that this shift should mean I won't be dealing with it while away on vacation.